olivemyboysandme

That's Where You'll Find Me

2011-01-19T15:50:00.001-05:00

To follow along with our family's Little Lives please visit our blog at...

www.theselittlelives.blogspot.com

...see you there~

"It's how God loves to work - surprisingly and better than your dreams." - Dec.23,2010

2011-01-09T07:00:00.043-05:00

We have been paying off debt.

Big whoop.

No big secret.

It's been ~~mind-numbing~~ a practice of obedience.

I talked about it here and here.

We've been waiting to start the adoption process.

Some (Andrew) patiently.

Others (Esty) begrudgingly.

Nevertheless we've waited.

And paid down that ever-present, nagging debt.

All the while knowing there would be more waiting once we actually

paid Step #1

and got to begin paying Steps #2 through 1 million.

Until...Friday came.

The DAY!

The Last Payment!

The Last Check to mail!

"Let's have a shindig! Let's throw a party!

Let's sign the adoption application and send them some money, Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!"~ said Esty, The Gas Pedal.

"Let's wait."~said Andrew, The Brake.

"Let's wait till the check clears. And let's pray."

I pouted ...eventually conceded...felt nearly better after we'd prayed together.

Put the check in the mailbox. (mild thrill only)

More waiting.

FABULOUS.

3:30PM arrives.

Andrew walks in from the yard,

into my kitchen,

hands me a Priority Mail already-opened envelope.

It's from Washington State.

I stare at the return address.

Never heard of them before.

"Who's this from?", I shrug.

"Read it", he says, and walks back out of the kitchen grinning.

Always the man of conservative words.

There's a Christmas Card, a picture, a letter.

"Dear Esty~

Greetings from the Pacific Northwest!", it begins. She goes on to introduce herself as the mother of a gal I used to be in bible study with on the Mountain. She tells me her daughter introduced her to my blog a couple years back. And then she makes me smile: ..."At the very time you mentioned you were reading Radical and Choosing to SEE, I was also reading them! Coincidence or 'Godincidence'? So when you announced you and your husband were going to 'put the pedal to the metal' for China in January 2011, I just knew I wanted to prayerfully partner with you...my heart rejoices with you as you and your family begin this journey. To God be the glory, great things He has done and will do!"

Included in the Priority Mail envelope?

A handwritten check equal to the first chunk of money due to the China program.

The Last Debt Payment.

Handed to the Mail Carrier.

And exchanged for the Priority Mail envelope with a gift straight from Heaven

via Seattle.

just take a moment and think about that right there...

It was The Same Day.

Orchestrated just right.

No one knew how much the first fees were.

I had never mentioned it.

I didn't need to tell God, however.

He whispered:

"Listen, little girl ~ listen to Me.

I. See.You.

I'm. WITH. You.

Come.

Get out of the boat.

Over here.

Follow Me.

Now.

And GO."

He is God.

He SEES me.

little, tiny me.

So I am not afraid.

I was born for this.

My God made me,

tiny and petty and ridiculous and noisy and bossy and needy and seflish and proud and vain and naive me.

And He takes my hand.

And He helps me onto the bow.

I can feel the waves rock

I can feel the salty spray

but I hear only His voice.

I'm going.

Yes.

Best of 2010...before I close out...I mean it this time

2011-01-07T19:17:00.026-05:00

This blog was always intended to be a history of my life with 3 little boys
their Dada
and our pup

and so it will remain.

Boys, you've had a great year.

You've each grown, matured and bloomed.

You're each bigger, wiser, taller and cuter.

Luke's become a homeschooler.

Graham's become a pray-er.

Ethan's become a comedian.

And you are all best friends.

NOTHING could bring me more joy than being your Mama.

Not a chance.

Not even close.
*************************

Since May of 2010 this very blog ( http://www.olivemyboysandme.blogspot.com/)

had
3,222 views
in
10 countries.
"The Lightening" post was the landslide favorite with 224 views
but the most comments ever left were 13.

Next most-viewed was a tie between
"Letter to My Daughters"
and
"Here's Why it Makes Sense"
with 76 views each.

It's been viewed from the U.S. to China,
from Australia to France,
from Chile to Russia.

It's had followers from Tasmania to Florida,
from Tennessee to Michigan
...and
one important person waaaay north in Washington State...

and that's the last story
of this blog
which I will share with you tomorrow...

Thank You and Goodnight!

2011-01-01T08:00:00.011-05:00

2010 in a word.....

"Surprising." ~ Esty

"Change." ~Andrew

As of January 1, 2011 this is no longer a family of all men plus a Mama.

~~*~~We are officially waiting for our baby girl to come home from China~~*~~

Even as I type that...it seems wildly surprising and I shake my head in bewilderment at God's sense of irony.

We have signed with AWAA.

We are starting now.

And I can see her.

I am not afraid.

I am ready.

As of right now this family is no longer just

All of My Boys and Me

(olivemyboysandme).

God has changed all of that now.

From now on we are winding our way down a Red Threaded path to Bejing and Guangzhou

and beyond.

So from now, these little lives will be documented here.

So please come with me!

What an adventure!

When asked "What do you think about us having a baby sister?":

"I would love one."~ Luke

"Good." ~Graham

"I would love swimming with her." ~Ethan

...here we go......................

Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T18:37:00.003-05:00

Well, Christmas 2010 was a romping success!

Does This Writer have photo documentation?

Of course NOT!

If you know me at all you know that I ~~stink at remembering to take pictures~~

frequently forget to charge my camera...or even to pick it up.

I have humbly admitted this here.

I prefer to think of this as enjoying life too much to stop and be mindful of things like camera-charging.

I always do regret it though, when I forget completely to take pictures.

Bummer.

I do, however have one picture or so of Graham waiting for Santa at the mall when he and I were out on a date on December 23rd...(excited much?)

.... one of the boys in new costumes which Santa bought (half-off after Halloween) and were a huge hit

that's Anakin, Jango and a teeny Boba Fett

... and the tree

...aaaaaaaaand that's all.

But it was a beauty!!!!

I have three great videos which I will NOT add here.

Video #1 = my brother-in-law entertaining his 3 adoring, mesmerized nephews with an impromptu puppet show with ample voices and hilarious lack of plotline.

Video #2 = my husband doing a push-up with me on his back, ending with a proud smile.

Video #3 = my 64 year-old father-in-law doing the same with my mother-in-law on his back

(to prove a point).

All totally hysterical but not for the general public.

(Early) New Year's Resolution? TAKE MORE PHOTOS!

Merry Christmas!!!

Letter to my Daughters - my Red Thread

2010-12-23T08:27:00.027-05:00

Dear Girls,

One Day you are going to ask me why you don't live in China anymore. You are going to ask how you came to live with your Daddy and I. You will want to know the answers to so very many questions that I won't have answers to. I will wish that your birth mothers were find-able so that I could thank them, so that I could reassure them, so that I could share you as they have shared you with me, so that I could allow you to be introduced to them and claim your lineage, so that I could show you how it is possible to love many people in your family and not to feel scared of a family tree with endless, grafted branches. I will wish that your questions did not haunt you. And I will be tempted to tell you only that we fell in love with your beautiful, sweet faces - but that would make you fear being un-beautiful one day. I could tell you comfortingly that you were loved too much by your birth mother, but that may only make you fear my own intense love for you, too. All of these are only elements though, only parts of the backstory of how you became a "Downes": part English/part Jewish/all Chinese.

This is how you came to be mine.*****

Once upon a time there was another little girl who would one day grow up and become your Mommy. Even though this little girl's ponytails were not jet black and silky like yours are, but braided and mousey brown she had all the same dreams you have now. Her greatest dreams were of being a mommy and one day having a house and babies to take care of. As she grew up she would be teased by her parents for all of the stuffed animals and baby dolls she insited on caring for even while she slept, almost being suffocated by their sheer number next to her in her Strawberry Shortcake bed. She thought she would mother all girls one day. She just knew it: 5 daughters. She wrote it in a journal. She spent her Life Action years mentoring girls. All of her friends were always girls, always feeling boys were mysterious and sticky. When she was 19 years old the little girl met a boy. First they were just pals. And then...they stopped being pals. The girl, long past ponytails and the boy, tall, handsome and brilliant began to really look at one another and soon they saw a single path they could race along holding hands and well - it was all over. They both started to pray to God their Creator and Matchmaker - prayed that they would not get in His way for their little lives and also prayed that He would let them be together. That little girl and that handsome boy - yep, that was your parents. And there was never anyone else for us, ever again after we fell in love.

Two and a half years later, we were Man and Wife. Three and a half years more and Luke was born, a tiny 3lbs baby boy, 8 weeks before we expected him to arrive. For weeks and weeks and endless weeks before, during and after Luke's arrival we both remained in the hospital, Luke and I both carefully pulled back from a dangerous precipice to secure health by a team of doctors. Daddy held my hand almost every minute of that adventure. We fell in love more than ever. Since I had been so sick when I had Luke and since Daddy was still a student, we waited 3 more years to have Graham but when we did both he and I were exceedingly healthy- he, a chubby bundle. I was sure we could wait for quite some time before trying for a third baby. There was no talk of being finished with having children and though life was incredibly demanding I was sure my daughters were just around the bend in the road, beyond the hedge I was content not to scale for now. Now I had 2 adorable little boys. I was getting used to boys and their climbing, stomping, gun-toting ways. I was learning to appreciate the loving gestures and sweet embraces, the lack of dramatics and forthright manner of boys. Before we knew what had happened: I was pregant again. This was a shocking turn of events, as I had assured myself that waiting for a while would somehow guarantee me a shot at a daughter. I would wrangle a girl out of the universe by sheer determination. I was not surprised, therefore since I myself had not orchestrated this pregnancy when another little boy (my 3rd in 4 years) arrived amid a serious illness that planted me unhappily back at the hospital once again for days on end, drove your Daddy to panic and convinced everyone around me that whether or not I felt there were more children due me I was tempting fate and needed to stop bearing children. I conceded. And I sobbed. I cradled my last baby, protected my 3rd abdominal scar and wept bitter tears of unfinished dreams as I watched the women's hospital disappear from the car window. There would be no more babies. No more chances. The little girl with ponytails who had wished for many children and many daughters was confused. I had a vision - a dream in my heart and now it was cruelly unattainable. And life sped along.

Over the next 2 years I fell in love with my boys. I watched mothers of sassy, belly-baring, dramatic little girls and wondered why I still wanted a girl at all? My boys were kind, teachable, obedient, loving and hilarious. My husband was protective and generous, more handsome than ever with a stronger work ethic than I'd ever known. I was spoiled silly, able to have the "career"I had always longed for: my dreams of being a homemaking, cookie baking, nesting Mommy were all being fulfilled~ except for 1. I was still lonely for my daughters. But there were no more chances at being pregnant - all of that was over 4 years after it had begun.

There was guilt in my soul for being incapable of bearing children easily, as everyone else in my family line had always been able to do.
There was bewilderment at my body's betrayal of me, the body that hadn't ever really been sick before in my entire life.

There was anger at myself that I could not appreciate my abundant, obvious blessings and the knowledge that I was being completely ridiculous and greedy.

There was frustration that I could not STOP wanting these unseen, future daughters; couldn't carve it out of my own heart.

There was resentment at your Daddy who sensibly strived to meet all of our family's needs single-handedly and couldn't imagine adding yet more needs to the list.

There was jealousy of my friends who effortlessly carried babies of both genders to their heart's content without a moment of life-threatening illness.

There was annoyance at others for not having sympathy for me and for seeming unfazed by my perceived deprivation.

There was discontentment crouched behind my pursuit of happiness.

And most of all there was bitterness at my God who had known my desires--- and denied me.

This bitterness held me confounded and imprisoned for 2 and 1/5 years. It's not that I did not love Jesus or attend church or even learn things along the way - but my heart was broken and in disrepair, making refilling it with joy and love a constant, exhausting task.

I regularly argued with Daddy, finding it impossible to ignore how oppositely we felt being on "different pages".

I conveniently ignored God's invitation to meet Him, feeling hurt and ignored by Him.

I flung myself at appearing content, reaching for all sorts of daily distractions to conceal my heartache.

I committed to trying harder, being the Best Mom to the Best Boys-it was all I had since I had been deprived more children by the Love of my Life , my pleaded case ignored by my Creator.

And then, two things happened.

And thank God they did!

First, I heard a sermon about submission. I had heard MANY, MANY sermons on this throughout my life and I could have even preached one myself but girls, sometimes you hear something as if for the first time - and this was one of those times. I felt God take a needle and Red Thread and seamlessly re-stich my heart. I bawled. I repented. I got over myself. I stopped cocooning myself behind a trenchcoat of pain and instead unveiled my mending heart to my husband and my God, seeking forgivness desperately. I began to see my Jesus again as a generous, brave, sweet Savior and not an elusive, tricking screenwriter.

Second, I sought to untangle my heart from my endlessly-glowing hopes for a daughter. That candle would just not be snuffed out. I would think I had put the issue to bed and then a video in Sunday School about orphans or friends adopting internationally would tighten the Red Threads around my heart and the seams would threaten to break and tears would spring to my eyes embarassingly. I sought out my mentor who gave me homework: prayer. Prayer about something other than my own burdens. Prayer for someone I loved and had not made my first priority in a long, long time: your Daddy. So, the little ponytailed girl climbed into her God's lap with her sewn-back-together heart full of Red Threads and prayed for that tall, smart, handsome boy again. Not for myself or even you at all. Just him and his stressors and his needs and his life.

And a miracle happened.

God stitched both of our hearts back together with that Red Thread as I prayed. Imperceptibly, almost magically my submission and prayer worked like titanium wrapping us closer, more in tune with one another and more tender to God's leading than ever before in our marriage. Within 4 weeks a job offer in another state would land in our laps. 4 months later Daddy would himself bring up the subject of adoption. 2 months after that we would move away from our home and start over. 4 months after the Move Daddy came up with the idea of China, planted by an image at work, confirmed with tightening Red Threads around his heart, deftly wound by God.

And now it has been 1 year.

1 year since that meeting with my mentor who told me to pray.

1 year since I gave up and decided to talk to God instead.

1 year.

How far God has brought me, girls, in just 1 year since I stopped telling God how things should be.

There's no telling where I will be 1 year from now.

So. What does this have to do with you not living in China?

Well, if that little brown-ponytailed girl hadn't always wanted daughters~

if I hadn't met your Daddy at 19~

if my pregnancies weren't miserable~

if Luke wasn't extremely premature and my delivery dangerous enough to warrant an emergency c-section~

if Graham hadn't been born in a state where you MUST have concurrent c-sections~

if Ethan hadn't some unexpectedly~

if I hadn't had preeclampsia again with him~

if I hadn't needed all 3 cesareans in 4 years~

if I hadn't kept wanting daughters~

if I hadn't heard that message about submission~

if I hadn't had that meeting with Mary Vassar~

if I hadn't been given the grace to start praying~

if we hadn't kept loving one another~

if ANY of those things hadn't happened........

there's no telling where you'd live now. But it wouldn't be with me and your Daddy. "Obedience brings blessing." And you are the blessings that obedience ultimately delivered. You were stitched right into my heart before you were even conceived way across the world in China. I have wanted you for so very long. But only when I waited on God's best would He find a creative way to redeem my disobedience and renew my love for Him before giving me a beautiful child - a daughter. Or two.

It's how God loves to work - surprisingly and better than your dreams.

I love you with everything in me.

Mommy

More Tennessee

2010-12-18T09:52:00.007-05:00

precious Hailey

(our personal preview of things to come)

Luke and Thatcher

Opryland hotel

Mimi and her grandboys

Bubba and TerBear

Rock Star

E and C

Braden spit up very unexpectedly - she'll kill me for these but the series of photos was priceless

Uncle Andrew and BradyBug

Lukey and Owie

(BFF's since before birth)

Holiday Tour by the Numbers

2010-12-18T08:41:00.011-05:00

ready...set...GO!

Mimi's typical stance - for posterity

Daddy

jumping in

my boys

***

When you are married to a man who works an odd mix of day and night shifts

who is also "low man on the totem pole"

you celebrate holidays ad hoc.

Hence~ the Tennessee Holiday Tour last week.

Here it is by the numbers:

Miles round trip: 1125

Days travelled: 7

People in van: 5

Potty breaks, each way: 4

Boys: 3

DVD player worth its' weight in gold: 1

DVDs most in demand: Alvin and the Chipmunks, classic cartoon version and Space Buddies.

Stops at Cracker Barrel, Sonic, Chik-Fil-A, Guthrie's, Wendy's and Zaxby's: 1, each

Stops at Starbucks:at least 7

Tanks of gas: at least 6

Average naps per person: 1

Times Graham made us all laugh by stating (after being dragged through multiple TN towns to visit people) "I'm so confused": 1

Parties we completely missed because our family couldn't get it together in time: 2

Pizza: at least 3 times

Exellent soups, lasagnes, and comfort foods: daily

Afternoons spent jumping in leaf piles: 1

Average wake-up call from Ethan: 5:15AM

Number of boys who shared a bed at Mimi's: 3

Number of boys (8 and under) who shared a room at Aunt Tiffany's: 6

Trips to our old church to see beloved girl baptized: 1

Times This Writer completely lost it watching baptism: multiple

Trips on carousel per boy: 3

Amount in dollars paid for each snow hat and gloves, 1 each per boy: 1 (thanks, Walmart)

Mornings spent playing in snow: 1

Snow on ground, in inches: 2+

Temperature in degrees Farenheit outside the morning we piled into van and departed: 8

Hours to drive home: 11.5

Hours after arrival till the Hubby had to report to work: 11

Loads of laundry the next day: 5

Buckle Up

2010-12-07T08:08:00.013-05:00

What difference does a year make?

Fall 2009

there were rust colored leaves, chilled and smoky winds and knit sweaters.

Fall 2010

there are sunny evenings, shorts and sundresses, palm trees and pools.

The sadness that choked me with tears for a good part of the summer and early autumn

eased at some point-

my eyes slowly drying, clearing with illumination at God's unfolding invitation.

You can't read "Radical" by David Platt

and "Just Courage" by Gary Haugen

and "Chosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman and others

and stay calmly unmoved.

They are dangerous books.

Adoption.

Missions.

Unknown Changes Ahead.

This Move, this Year has been unexpected for

little, near-sighted me.

This Move has shaken my vision for the Road Ahead and caused reflection.

What we have both seen as we have gained perspective is a life of

opportunity

we just didn't see before.

It's life-altering, paradigm-shifting, game-changing.

This Writer is climbing into the passenger seat of a vehicle headed into a

brilliant, blinding unknown.

Hanging onto the dashboard,

unsure what exactly we are racing toward

I say:

"I'm in - Let's GO."

2010 has been the Year of Surprising Bends in the Road.

May 2011 be the Year of the Pedal to the Metal -The Year of Gunning It.

Hang on, y'all.

*******

Thankfulness

2010-12-02T08:49:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving this year brought

(besides lots of calories and a sincere need to walk the block afterward)

quiet meloncholy for me...

there were 13 around our table

and plenty of delicacies

and plenty of talking

laughing

sharing...

and it was a great holiday...

but our little girl was missing.

And I acutely sensed it.

There is THANKFULNESS though.

I am so incomparably THANKFUL for my men, all of them.

It's just that this year imparticular I am THANKFUL, too for faith.

my silly boys at EPCOT, modelling Mexican sombreros

and 3-D glasses, just for the fashion of it

Here's why it makes sense

2010-11-17T15:26:00.016-05:00

China.

It defies logic.

Adopting in general, in fact.

It's just contrary.

It does make perfect sense, though.

And though some of it is impossible to explain in words

it's a record, for my child if nothing else.

*******

...because I cannot physically bear any more children.

...because I solely have sons.

...because I love female companionship, always have.

...because I've always wanted 4 or more children.

...because well-meaning people always ask women with only sons if they know they can

"get a baby girl from China".

...because for this reason I have always resisted this idea

just to be unique -

so it serves me right.

...because I read Adopted for Life and it changed me.

...because my husband has grown a lump in his throat for China and her devalued daughters.

...because China's One-Child Policy coupled with its' cultural preference for boys means that girls are abandoned, orphaned, even killed quietly as the nation struggles to meet all its' needs through communism.

...because I have known several friends who have adopted from China.

...because even though I had those friends who had adopted from China,

it took my obedience to surrender my hopes of adopting

before my husband came up with the idea all on his own,

which is miraculous.

...because he had Reluctant Husband Syndrome (as Amy Block calls it).

...because when I told him about the Red Thread he said:

"Woah. I think I just felt my heart tug."

...because I know he needs a little girl in his life.

...because my boys need a little sister.

...because we BELIEVE in the redemption story that adoption portrays.

...because if it was an afforable, piece-of-cake process it wouldn't take

faith and chutzpah.

...because China has strict eligibilty guidlines which we barely meet and we still feel certain.

...because we will have to be painfully dependant on supernaturally-timed finances for China to work out.

(it figures)

...because China has slowed the process so severely for "healthy" children but basically opens the floodgates for "less-desirable" ones.

...because I am needy and lonely BUT God has captured me.

& I believe James 1:27, cliche though it sounds:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress"

...because there's something worse than taking a risk-----

realizing you missed out because you were afraid it may not end perfectly.

...because it will take faith I don't have enough of today and grace I haven't been allotted yet.

...because if any of my 3 little boys were in an orphanage in China I would stop at

NOTHING

to bring them home where they belong.

...because it's in my heart.

...because it's where she is.

It's just where she is.

*******

So then again - maybe it doesn't make sense after all.

Still, they are the facts.

All for you, my Baby Girl.

In words, spelled out so you never have to wonder.

No magic dreams, no neon signs, no waivering or waffling.

You belong here.

The Chinese proverb calls it a Red Thread -

Jews like your mother say "Beshert".

(or:) "Meant to be" in either culture.

It's you and us.

We're coming.

It's where all the cool kids go

2010-11-08T08:58:00.009-05:00

Pretty soon this blog site will be defunct.

There will no longer be only boys ruling this roost leaving me the lone female.

Sort of sad, right?

I know, I sometimes feel that emotion, too.

I have been reading some great books, not the least of which is Mary Beth Chapman's

Choosing to SEE

which I highly reccommend.

In it, she talks some about this sadness side-by-side with the joy of adding to your family.

For myriad reasons we are about ready to pursue adoption plans and are watching, compiling, researching, waiting and praying fervently about all these things.

Reading alot.

Researching.

Learning.

And we are not QUITE ready to divulge all that we are preparing...yet.

Almost, though.

Soon.

For the time being you can still find me on this blog site, like always.

Soon though, This Writer will be blogging over at

http://www.theselittlelives.blogspot.com/

Here's the explanation of the title:

My aunt, Amy Bergen Hamovitz, a homeschooling, Jesus-loving, adoptive and biological Mama who went home to be with Jesus in February 2009 after an excruciating battle with thyroid cancer said to me in hushed tones in August, 2008

"You know Esty, I have always felt like a little person with a little life...

it would make more sense to me to be here and watch my children grow, walk my girls through teenaged years and see my boys become men - to me it makes more sense.

But God has used my illness in such a big, big way...

and if this is how God chooses to use me in a big way: so be it."

She had no idea how these words would affect me.

She died 6 months later.

I, too am a little person.

I, too live a fairly little life.

But God has a Big Plan.

I am starting to see it.

more to follow*............

Esty and my Aunt Amy

family reunion, Tucson, Arizona, August 2008

The Ghosts of Halloweens Past

2010-10-31T20:54:00.014-04:00

I have discovered that most Moms who blog are seasoned photographers or "Mamarazzi".

If you are going to judge a Mama by her photographic archives or picture-taking-prowess,

this Writer will get a failing grade.

I often completely fail to capture the event at all.

Sad but true.

The following pitiful retrospective will unfortunately prove my case completely.

***~~~Halloween 2005~~~***

Luke as a baseball player.

Age 3.

keep in mind please this was 7 days after Graham was born via cesarean

and yes, I walked him around the neighborhood

and I have these 3 paltry pictures to prove it.
-------------------------------------------------------

***~~~Halloween, circa 2006~~~***

dear friend /neighbor and I decided we should be Wilma and Betty, while our 2 babies,

both aged under a year

were Pebbles and BamBam.

Still believe that was pure genius.

They looked great.

But I haven't a single shot of Luke that year.

He was 4.

Sorry, Son.

One day you are really going to let me have it for this, I realize.

I think you were Superman.

At least, I am pretty sure you were.

I know, I know.

Pathetic.

But I had just found out I was expecting another baby (SURPRISE!)

so I was low on brain cells.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***~~~Halloween 2007~~~***

This is really the low point.

I have ONE picture.

I cannot even promise it's actually from Halloween Day that year.

And you were ALL Superman.

I was out of ideas.

You boys were ages just-turned-2, about-to-be-5 and 6 months.

Have some mercy on your poor mother.

Look how happy you look!

You're oblivious!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***~~~Halloween 2008~~~***

Now this really was adorable.

Daddy was working alot and I really tried hard to get this year's pictures to get it together.

I was coming into my own as a Mamarazzi.

You were 6, 3 and 1.5.

You were Narnia creatures: King Peter, Prince Caspain and a very pouty Aslan.

The lion could NOT get happy that night.

He moped all night long, through a fall festival and his tail swished when he walked.

Priceless.

I thinkI have a picture of that somewhere.

But I can't find it.

And there really aren't any picture of all the boys standing together.
Try to think of it as "artsy".

We DID get this ONE GREAT SHOT, though.

Pouty lion or not.

------------------------------------------------------------

***~~~Halloween 2009~~~***

Now THIS year was a winner because you were all themed (Star Wars)

but not identical,

I have multiple shots to prove it,

and these pictures happened DURING a party AT our HOUSE, ON HALLOWEEN.

So, you're WELCOME.

It is a lovely thing to do, Trick Or Treating in the autumny mountainy crisp air.

Sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
***~~~Halloween 2010~~~***

THIS year we even carved a pumpkin!

Yippee!

If only I had age-appropriate, child-safe pumpkin-carving tools.

It was actually pretty gross and Graham imparticular was NOT a fan.

But we decorated!

A little.

Even if this neighborhood is NOT our Mountain and 3 smartypants middle school girls snatched almost every last piece of that candy all at once.

Sigh, again.

And you chose your own costumes!

And I LET you even though they COMPLETELY did NOT coordinate!

No theme whatever!

"Yay" for Mommy trying NOT to be a control freak!!!

Grandparents are great for getting the smiles to appear for the camera.

Luke was a Yankees ball player.

Ethan was Superman.

(Again)

And Graham was a Batman-Cowboy.

I have no idea what that is, either but he thought it was funny.

Just a beautiful shot.
I am hoping this makes up for the lost years of Halloween photos.

Silly pictures, too!

Can you BELIEVE all the pictures we have this year???

Buddies came over

and we scoured our humid beachy neighborhood for candy and SCORED.

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Does it count that I take "mental snapshots" constantly?

No?

Shoot.

Birthdays, Brothers, Batman and Baseball Players

2010-10-30T17:42:00.010-04:00

October has a been a very costume-filled month and not only becuase of the costume-friendly holiday. We are just big on costumes even on your average day.

This is pretty typical. Bunny charges into the room wearing pajama bottoms, a Batman cape and a devious grin.

Obviously it's picture-worthy.

October/November is also a very expensive time of the year as not one but TWO of my sons have birthdays, actually only 8 days apart. We opted for low-key this year and happily our church's Fall Festival was the same evening as Birthday #1 so no one was any the wiser when we loaded up and headed there instead of having a major fete at our place. Whew!

The loyal Yanks' fan...

...and the loyal Cubs fan.

If you've never had a cookie cake, you are missing out.

It was a huge and delicious hit.

Plus I didn't bake it, so no danger of another flop like the

Great Cake Ball Fiasco of April 2010.

Afterwards, Luigi and Mario, Obi-Wan, Superman

and the 2 baseball players

lined up before going crazy at the Fall Fest.

Bonus of late-October/early-November birthdays? Costumes count as gifts.

This is a keeper.

And for the record, here's the conversation:

Me: "Will it bother you if both of your brothers are baseball players and you are not?"

Him: "No."

Me: "Are you sure? I mean, are you going to be upset?"

Him: "No."

Me: "You sure?"

Him: "Yep."

For the record, he couldn't have cared less.

This is a tiny man who knows himself well.

October has found us laughing alot and being very happy together.

All of us.

Whether we are a ninja...

a superhero...

or some version somewhere in the middle.

When It's All About Him

2010-10-19T08:56:00.001-04:00

This is a MUST-READ.

BUILDING THE BLOCKS...: All about Him#links#links

Life in Little Boyland

2010-09-28T08:57:00.005-04:00

My boys love them some soccer.

They play in the house, out side, on a field and in the car.

They love it.

Monkey

Season 1, Day 1 of soccer

The Monkey has just begun his first season of soccer and though he was admittedly nervous at age almost-5 and wandered around a bit confused at times on the field, he jogged around bravely with the other tiny players and occasionally got close to the ball.

It was 95 degrees and noon.

His shin guarded socks basically met his black shorts so that he was almost completely covered in soccer gear, head to toe.

He's my hero.

I would post a picture of the Big Brother, into his 4th season and dominating his first day on the field, but I am not a great photo-documentarian.

Sad.

He is also in constant motion and here are some playground pictures to prove that point:

I especially love Little One's mouth in this picture - true concentration.

priceless jewels!

Coming into Focus (or: Becoming FEARLESS)

2010-09-22T08:08:00.012-04:00

***Warning: the following post has strongly worded faith-based convictions and may not be suitable for viewing."

This Move.

This Move from the Mountain to the Beach.

It has taken some time to make sense of, for This Writer.

There's no doubt that we were supposed to move and supposed to sell that house and supposed to change paths, but many times during all the last 9 months I have asked:

"God. What are you doing with us???"

We were just going about our business, loving our lives on the Mountain.

We were learning.

We were growing.

We were maturing.

We were happy.

We were enveloped in our surroundings contentedly.

Having fellow Believers to share life with closely - it was like

shooting fish in a barrel, it was so available.

Fabulous neighbors.

Tight friends.

Safety in a tiny town where the police are the crossing guards after school and the town's school carnival is its' main attraction every fall.

Challenging teaching at church.

Great mini public school.

A playground where you could bump into a plethora of buddies at any moment, unplanned.

Seasons.

Opportunities for volunteerism.

A yard.

A cul-de-sac.

It was embarrasingly idyllic.

Rockwellian.

"Mayberry, U.S.A."

When I think "home" ~ I think "the Mountain".

And God moved us far away.

So yes - there's been alot of:

"What are you doing with us, God? How come you are moving us away? What could be better for our boys than this life? What could you need us to change our whole lives for? Aren't we here because you led us here? Aren't we doing life 'correctly'?

Were we (gasp!) wrong? What has all this 2 years been about?"

I'm just being honest, folks.

These are the thoughts that run through the minds of parents of 3 young boys when you've moved

6 times in 11 years;

a couple devoted to loving Jesus who want to know His Plan for their lives.

This is what makes you stare at the ceiling at night, watching for neon signs.

"Did we mis-read? Did we mis-hear?

Are we mis-reading and mis-hearing now?"

It's taking time, but I believe we are starting to put pieces together.

I think we were indeed learning. I think we were indeed hearing challenging teaching at church, finding depth in matchless friendships, getting truly grounded as a family.

I believe that 2 years enlightened us as to how we wanted to do life.

We had some wonderful role-models on the Mountain and a whole lotta family time which we desperately needed after 3 years of a hellish residency.

We sort of marinated in love.

No small wonder that we were terribly reluctant to hit the road again.

Here's the truth though:

Marinating doesn't do anything for the world around you.

It changes you, but it doesn't change anyone else.

I have tought alot about Peter in the Word. I have always related to Peter because I get so fired up with love for Jesus and then slink away, afraid to open my once-brave mouth.

Thought about how Jesus blessed him with plenty

and then in the next breath called Peter away

to follow Him. (Luke 5: 1-11)

How Peter kept on growing in love and stumbling in failure,

2 steps forward & 3 steps back.

This feels very familiar.

I thought we were moving forward.

And this Move has made me wonder if we really were.

We have downsized, reformulated, recommitted, and shaken things up a bit.

Magically in the span of 9 months we have become a homeschooling, renting, beachy family, no longer a public-school-fundraising, home-owning, mountain family.

It's more solitary.

The address isn't one we own.

It's quieter.

And it's all been unexpected.

Sometimes it has felt as though we are moving backward.

Like Peter though, I want to be bold.

I feel Jesus asking us to get out of the boat, out to Him, out to the water.

I feel life changing and it is scary and freeing.

I am still a stumbler.

I certainly need Jesus now more than ever.

Call it a crutch-call it wheelchair--call me weak-deluded-foolish-call it misled-duped-brainwashed.

Call me a sellout, call me a zealot, a freak, a flag-waving idiot, a crazy.

Guess what?

I'm good with that.

I'm tired of living too easily and chasing comfort.

Confort, comfort, comfort.

It's been my main goal, announced or not.

My comfort, my children's comfort, my family's comfort - it's a shallow, short-sighted effort.

I'm tired of being worried about who my noisy faith will bother.

I'm tired of editing my love for Jesus

because if He really is Lord - if I really am called to follow Him - if I want God to break me down and fill me up and make my life have MEANING and PURPOSE - if I want His steadfast, rock-solid assurances - if I want to be led by His grace and march out in faith than I don't get to be concerned with my reputation anymore.

If I want to live a fearless life, if I want to

"live a life worthy of the gospel of Jesus" (Phil 1:27)

and not just live to acquire beautiful furniture, educate my smart, handsome, white American sons well, retire easily, have a great savings account balance, vacation worldwide in my 50's and above all have COMFORT (previous goals) then it is time to reach for uneasy change.

It's going to be noisy.

Prepare yourselves.

Jesus is showing me - showing the Two of Us how BIG His Plan is for us.

He has allowed this Move to start the changing process, taken us out of the marinade.

Jesus has asked us to follow.

And we are, man.

I am about to get "offensively religious."

Step back.

Fair warning.

"God is more concerned with your character than He is with your comfort." ~ Rick Warren

Normalcy

2010-09-18T07:29:00.001-04:00

Normal day,

let me be aware of the treasure you are.

Let me learn from you,

love you,

bless you

before you depart.

Let me not pass you by

in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

Let me hold you while I may,

for it may not always be so.

One day I shall dig my nails into the earth,

or bury my face in the pillow,

or stretch myself taut,

or raise my hands to the sky and want,

more than all the world,

your return.

~Mary Jean Iron

Autumn? Autumn Who?

2010-09-17T15:55:00.011-04:00

This is a Dancing Lady.

Or so This Writer is informed by my BFF, who knows her horticulture.

She lives in my backyard in a hedge that no one but our family sees, along with her fellow Dancers, about a dozen of them, dancing right ouside our home.

The flower, that is -not my BFF.

And I think she is just lovely.

The flower AND my BFF.

Just FYI.

*************

We are still in the middle of a scorching summer here at the Beach.

It's still hot and we know it will be for many more weeks before we get relief.

However, this Writer can tolerate it WAY so MUCH more than I could when we lived near the Beach a few years ago when I was pregnant for the better part of 3 years.

~~~Quick FLASHBACK~~~

me, circa October 2005

YIKES.

me, circa April 2007

Holy Cow.
(No pun intended.)

So, suffice it to say: This summer has been MUCH more tolerable indeed!

Now that everyone lives on the OUTSIDE of my person, even if we do snuggle alot.

We might be a get all sweaty and miserable by the time it's over...but homeschooling affords us some really fun "field trips"

like this one to the "Happiest Place on Earth".

I complained to the Hub about this last one:

"He (DoodleBug) just cannot take a straight picture at age almost 8, can he?"

under my breath

to which the Hub responded:

"Well, he is in prison with Zurg after all, so..."

Enough said. I take myself too seriously.

So, summer may not be winding down here yet but we are finding plenty of ways to keep busy!

See you at the Beach...

Waiting to Wait

2010-09-09T15:07:00.009-04:00

playing at our beautiful Beach

Doodlebug, 7.5

Honey Monkey, 4.5
Little Bunny, 3

married 11+ years already! wait...can that be POSSIBLE???

in he goes!

Daddy is relentless

I love this because you don't normally see the set-up of the family picture......and there it is.

Peaceful rest after a hard days' play.

*****

We are not adopting.

Not yet.

We are waiting.

Then after that's done, we will wait some more. And we know it.

Instead of filling out adoption paperwork or looking at lists of children or waiting on a referral with a picture of our destined daughter we are doing something first - getting things in order financially.
And guess what?! - it's boring. BORING. Bor-ING.
***NEWS-FLASH: Paying off debt is BORING***
BUT it is important.
Important enough to be the catalyst for a major move from the Mountain to the Beach, important enough to sell our home, move our boys, cause the Hub to take a new job at a new practice, cause us to refocus and and rebudget and change almost everything about the way we do life.
Sometimes important events are exciting:

weddings! birthdays! Disney trips! engagements!

Gotchya days! good news from a doctor! court dates!
(((YAY! EXITING!!!)))

And then again, other important events? Not so much:

Sending a check.

Watching it clear.

Checking off a list.
(((WOWZA. - NOT REALLY THRILLING ALMOST AT ALL.)))

But, it's what's happening.
The Challenge here is to be content while we are waiting and doing what amounts to feeling like watching paint peel or milk sour or grass grow. Again: boring.
Adoption is in our future; it's going to happen; it's approaching every day; it's destined and it's certain.
But we are aiming a slingshot without releasing it yet - we are waiting.
God hasn't let us begin, yet. He is teaching us something here, the same things He teaches us with every Challenge -it's not a new thing, it's not a different thing and it's actually what He will be using all future Challenges to teach us, once we begin the adoption process, once we are all home together, for the rest of our lives in fact: To Be Close to Him.

That's all. And do you know how much more I desperately seek Him, speak to Him, open his Word for direction and comfort and express weak neediness now that I am homeschooling and waiting to adopt than I did ever before?
My children, here at home and somewhere yet unborn overseas are already the cause of a greater love between me and my Jesus. They are amazingly pushing me towards Him in my own neediness. They are already glorifying Him. That's amazing.

Even though I am waiting.

Bring. It. ON.

2010-08-31T15:32:00.005-04:00

So.
Started homeschooling this week.
LOVING IT.
Great curriculuum. Motivated 2nd grader. Independant younger brothers. School was over in 2 hrs, 6 minutes today. Being who This Writer is, we began at 8AM, having already caffeinated myself and fed the boys, washed faces and changed clothes, made beds and had bible time as a family. Plus I read a few chapters in a book before that for my own benefit. Plus I think I did some laundry. Plus maybe something else, I can't remember.
And seriously: I was NOT rushing us around. I may be efficient but I am NOT a lover of harried mornings, hence the Huge Bonus of homeschooling that I am most fond of.

Aaaaaaaaaand now I'm bored.

We need a baby.

Only 10 more? That can't be right.

2010-08-06T08:29:00.005-04:00

Life at the Beach so far has been different. Good - but mighty different.

For starters no one says "all y'all" or even a singular "y'all" when referring to a group.

No one has a soft accent or says "bless your heart".

None of my neighbors are very... neighborly.

There's no fog.

~~~however~~~

There's family in town which means someone to spend random weekend days and weeknight evenings with when the Hub is working.

There's a good church very nearby.

There's a great Y nearby complete with impressive water park.

There are new friends. Mostly for me and the littlest boys so far.

The Beach. (Enough said.)

We do love life here.

Love our house, love our location, love alot of things.

So, things are good and we have mostly transitioned and the boys are thriving. They talk less about the Mountain and their buddies than I would have expected. I am not sure why. Sometimes This Writer wonders if when they are teens they will resent that we didn't talk about their old friends more and figure that I denied them that opportunity or something psychoanalytical like that.

Mostly I am just too deeply sad - really that's an insufficient word more like

sorrowful, mournful and heavyhearted -

when I consider the friendships they particularly left on the Mountain.

These friendships are not going to be reproducible, not even close and so far they are not even slightly replaced.

Bad News:

We are struggling more than in any other area in finding relationships for our children to develop.

Good News:

They are closer, less argumentative and more bonded to us and one another than ever.

Moving during the summer has maybe been best because it gave them closure from school activities and programmed unity as a class and has primed them for minimally-structured togetherness as a family.

It is truly a gift and one I do not undervalue.

The summer is setting like an orangey pink sun.

Schooltime ads are on every newspaper insert, every clothing commercial, assaulting us as we walk into the stores, offering Brightly Colored Backpacks! and Lunch Boxes! and Random Folders and Papers and Pencils and Erasers and Other Important Stuff You Gotta Buy!

~~~however~~~

We are doing something different.

It's not an experiment exactly because we feel so keenly that it's what we are meant to do.

We will be homeschooling.

Doodlebug is so easy - such a flexible kid. He makes the choosing to do this as a family almost too easy because he could be content with whatever we decide.

It really is a strength of his, to be so flex.

This will be a First for us.

Neither the Hub or This Writer were ever homeschooled.

Neither of us has any issue with the public school system.

Neither of us feel this is our permanent choice for every child we have, every year.

But is came down to this...

We get 10 more years.

TEN.

Then Doodle is gone.

He won't want to snuggle daily, he won't want to be with his father endlessly, he won't want to sit on my lap, he won't probrably claim that his brothers are his best friends and his favorite activity isn't going to be "being with family".

Soon he will be adolescent.

He is almost 8.

8 more years and he will be driving a car, asking to date and eating me out of house and home, towering above me with (perish the thought:) hairy armpits and a deep voice.

10 more years till we are exploring colleges with him, visiting brick buildings and cinder blocked dorm rooms and white-tiled cafetierias, meeting with advisors who will want to direct him.

We get 10 more years.

We have discussed, researched, pros v. cons listed, explored and above all prayed desperately about the reasons to make this choice.

And there are plenty of other reasons to homeschool, too.

And since he hasn't made friends here yet there are reasons it seems counterintuitive to homeschool, too.

But the bottom line is this:

We get 10 more years.

It's an adventure.

We are diving into the Deep End for sure.

There's only a Life Preserver out here, no boats as far as the eye of this untrained teacher can see.

It's a huge, blue fathom of future and learning and there's no cheerful 2nd grade Mrs. Whatever waiting in a doorway to greet my son for Circle Time. This both thrills and terrifies me.

~~~however~~~

Jesus.

He is the True Life Preserver.

He will preserve This Writer.

He will preserve This Writer's sons.

He will preserve the boys' love for one another.

He is the Prince of Peace, after all.

You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:7

It's not just a verse, it's my dependant prayer.

The Lightning

2010-07-13T09:02:00.009-04:00

If you met our family recently you might think we have highly entertaining, very exciting, maybe almost unbelievable lives.
A heartbreaking move ~a miraculous home -selling event ~ and the Icing on the Cake of Surprises: Lightning that Struck My Van. Literally. While it was in motion.
I don't know when my rather ordinary, regular, everyday family became such drama-magnets but somehow we have been highly entertaining lately and This Writer must record this last, most extraordinary event for sure.

The week of June 14-18 was VBS at the church here at the Beach we have been attending. Naturally being the Elbow-My-Way-In person that I am I volunteered to work at VBS, thereby also enrolling even my younger 2 boys in nursery so we could all attend.
(Sneaky, sneaky.) The theme: God's Word being Important. Daily the theme varied slightly and we'd shout at prompted times: "God's Word is Exciting!" or "God's Word is Comforting!", etc. It was enthusiastic and we focused on VBS greatly this particular week.

On Thursday afternoon the 17th, after VBS ended at noon I piled the boys into my 8 year-old Mercury minivan and headed down the interstate toward the Orlando airport to pick up my cousin there. This would be about 2hrs+ each way but the boys had a movie on and had been engaged all morning at VBS so I envisioned a fairly smooth run. I drove right around 70mph, maybe a bit over just because and of course in the far left lane, to get the point across that I had an agenda. It was 3 PM. The rain was drippy on and off and the clouds were heavy and dark but this is Florida and at least it wasn't raining buckets. I prefered this, in fact. The clouds kept the van cooler and the rain was steady but not blinding. The lightning that accompanied the clouds however was loud and close. VERY loud and VERY close. When suddenly it wasn't close at all ~ it was upon us. The loudest BOOM you can imagine shook the entire van. A moment of deafening noise rattled the windows, shook the steering wheel and stopped our hearts. A split second later I knew instictively what had happened without question: we had been hit by lightning. As I looked down to assess the dashboard I saw every light illuminated: the emergency brake light, the oil lights: every one. And I was decelerating, already having slowed to 37mph. (Keep in mind I was in the Fast Lane in 6 lanes of traffic in a rainstorm.) My power steering was gone. And unbeknownst to me I had blown out al 4 tires. Somehow God and I pulled that van into the left-hand soggy grass median. My heart is pounding unevenly, I am hyperventilating severely and my hands are tingling, my thoughts are jostling for position all trying to take center stage. We have no umbrella. I smell burning. The van is dead. There is silence except for my too-fast, terrrified gasping. I can't think I can't think I can't think. Think, Esty, THINK THINK THINK THINK.......
I open the van door, extend a leg out, unsure whether to call 911, whether I should extract my wide-eyed, frozen children from the van and step out into the rain with them in the middle of a wet highway median - nervous that if we stay put we may all be killed by our exploding vehicle, nervous that if we venture out onto the dangerous highway was may all be killed by another vehicle. I call 911. They transfer me. Twice. Minutes are ticking by. My brain starts firing in order. 2, 3 minutes, maybe 4 pass. Now I am told to get away from the van and by now I am impatient to do so. I hang up, turn around, tears streaming from my eyes I loudly say while smiling:
"Boys. Get your seatbelts off. We are getting out of the van. Be brave. STAY WITH MAMA. HOLD MY HAND. GET OUT NOW. COME. NOW."
The littlest one starts crying but they all obediently file out, clasp hands, huddle around me so that I can barely walk and we march into the swampy grass yards and yards away from the van. We plunk down, indian-style, soaking up the falling rain, piled together, watching the deafening traffic zoom by on both side of us, 3 lanes worth in each direction. Soft crying starts from DoodleBug. Honey Monkey slams his hands over his ears. Little Bunny is silent. I sing "Jesus loves Me" out loud, the only words that I can even think above my frightened thoughts that whisper: "You can't see all the cars behind you. You are exposed in this narrow field. Cars of people are craning to see you. Anyone can lose control and slide towards the boys here."
I tell the boys all I can remember: "Jesus Sees Us. I know this: Jesus Sees Us. God's Word is Comforting. Jesus Sees Us and He Will Send Us an Angel. Just Watch. Wait and Watch."

Pretty soon a mustached man stops behind the van, marches out to us with a large umbrella and a blanket. He has seen us, used the nearest exit to circle back around to us. We tell him he is our Angel. He seems confused but humbly glad to be of service. At least now we are more protected from the rain. A wreck two lanes away reminds me that we are still on a highway though and people are slowing down unevenly, curiously spectating and we are in serious danger here still.

Finally the huge, blaring red fire engine arrives, further terrifying Little Bunny who mournfully wails "I want Daddyyyyyy" which I can only agree with at this point. The firefighters seem unimpressed with the damage to the vehicle, first offering to change my tire, convinced that it must've been a blown tire which spooked me and caused me to trek ino the median with my children, poor distressed Damsel that I am. Upon further kicking of tires though they find the drill hole and burnt circumference of paint about a foot behind Doodle Bug's seat at the top rear of the van in the roof. "Yes, you were hit by lightening.", they admit, shocked. It's official. Validation is a relief. I didn't overreact after all.

Over an hour later, family arrive to collect us. We have been back in the warm, dead van, waiting now. The wreck 2 lanes over is being removed, the circus having moved on, the highway rhythm resumed. By 9PM that night we are all back home, tired and shaken but all completely unharmed. The van will never be seen by us again. $400 later the towing is complete. The official totalling of the van happens the next day.

4 days later I have a beautiful, shiny, clean, bright, sweet, slivery blue-grey new minivan complete with ammenities my old green van only ever wistfully saw in carpool line like power doors and Blutooth. Wow. She is mine the first day of summer. She has 8 miles on her odometer when I find her on the lot. All insurance interactions are smooth as silk, thoroughly meeting our expectations. It's a dream after a nightmare.

So now, a month later I can finally start to fully appreciate SOME of the ways God protected us that day on Interstate 4, outside of Orlando.

* there wasn't a Mack truck behind me when I decellerated so quickly on the highway
* I was in the left-hand lane to begin with so I could get into the median without being hit
* no one hit us on the highway
* family was able to retrieve us so I didn't have to buckle the boys into a vehicle without carseats
* most amazingly: the lightnening DIDN'T WOUND ANYONE.

Bottom line: YES, the car IS the safest place to be in a lightening storm. The van did what it was supposed to do: it conducted the lightening from the rear roof of the van, under the van and blew out the front tires to ground the electricity. We were all absolutely unhurt.

I get antsy chills lately when I see lightening and expect I will for a long, long time to come. I am reassured though, knowing SURELY it won't happen to me again.

Right?!

God's Word is Comforting. He protected us that day. I wish I was more aware of His protection everyday in myriad ways. I know He is good to us. He didn't have to send an Angel with an umbrella just to prove to my children that He saw us. He didn't have to spare us at all. He didn't have to make Andrew so far away, or have to make the storm that day at all. Why did He? I am still mostly altogether unsure. I have no answers but these: He loves us. He cares for us. He is good. He can be trusted. I am grateful.

THE MOVE by the Numbers

2010-06-24T14:50:00.007-04:00

There's too much. So I will sum up...

Lovely people who attended our going-away bash: around 45
Times I cried driving around the Mountain those last few days: countless
Girlfriends who helped pack my kitchen with me three days before the move: 3
Friends who stopped by with food/gifts/hugs/tears/mementos the day before the move: 5+
Neighbors we stayed with during the day of the Move having lunch, crying and eating:15+
Approx # of boxes packed: 150
Approx # of those boxes which were books only: 60
Trucks that arrived to be packed: 2
Men who arrived to do the loading: 4
Hours the loading took: approx 6
Time we left the Mountain: 3PM
Hours the drive to the Beach took: 11
Number of stops we made: 3
Time the boys fell asleep: around 9PM
Time we arrived: 2AM
Time we fell asleep: 4AM
Time the boys awoke and starting asking to go swimming: 7AM
Hours it took to get to the sand after arrving: 17
Days it took before the truck with furniture arrived: 9
Number of trucks that arrived: 1
Men who arrived to unload the truck: 2
Ages of those men: 28, 65+
Time of day they arrived to unload: 12:30PM
Heat index at that time: 103 degrees F
Other moving company employees who were available to help: 0
Story the movers told us about hiring inmates from a local prison to help unload trucks when employees are unavailable: 1
Members of my family who unloaded the truck with those men: 2
Members of my family who were irate about the condition of the furniture, boxes, men who arrived and stories they told: ALL, mostly me
Boxes that survived the move: precious few
Amount that the movers are willing to compensate us: $150
Total cost of move: financially reimbursible, emotionally inestimable
Days till we attended a new church after moving in: 4
Churches so far attended: 2
Days we attended VBS: 5
Times that Honey Monkey has awakened crying at night: 2
Times Little Bunny has pooped in the potty: maybe 8
Days we have swum in our pool: I am guessing around 20
Cost of Baby Barrier pool fence and locks: $350
Swim lessons so far: 1, each
Trips to the sand: 5
Minutes from our front door to the sand: 12
Dates we have had: 3
Pizza from our favorite place: 4 times
Trips to Disney's Magic Kingdom: 1
Number of new vehicles we have accumulated since moving in: 1 (story in next blog post)
Days the Hub has worked so far: 10
Times he has said he loves it: at least 6
Times we have each been to the DMV for new licenses: 1, each
Times we have left empty-handed because of technicalities: 1, each
Books we checked out from the library here yesterday: 9
Days closing on the house on the Mountain will be delayed because of technicalities: 2
Days till then: 6
Number of house-guests we have had overnight: 2
Miles between the Mountain and the Beach: 633miles
Times I have missed my neighbors: daily
Friends I deeply miss and think of many times daily: innumerable
Number of times my kids have asked for their grandparents in the South: thousands
Times that we have each said: "I love this house, it's so cozy, I am so happy here": many, many, many

Coffee Lovers, Unite!

2010-04-29T11:19:00.013-04:00

I love coffee.

I am not kidding here.

The other night I laid in bed and thought about all the reasons why coffee is great.

I love that coffee is warm and comforting.

I love that I can look forward to coffee when I go to sleep at night, already anticipating the nutty scent of a sleepy morning's quiet minutes before the Day begins in force.

I love that coffee gives you energy and makes you SuperHuman.

What seemed exhaustingly impossible and overwhelmingly daunting now seems so do-able!

Nominal! Simple!

Bring it on! Pile my To Do List high! I can take it!

I HAVE COFFEE.

I love that coffee gives you a great reason to meet up with people, affords you a conversation starter at parties, displays a glimpe into even a stranger's true colors, and can be personalized innumerable ways.

I love that coffee never makes you drunk, never costs more than you prorably have on you, never can be objected to in mixed company, and is loved the world over.

I love that coffee makes you seem approachable unlike an Evian, makes you seem endearingly flawed in a loveable way, makes you a prisoner of its' harmless addictive nature and makes you beg for it and thank it for existing in equal parts.

I love that coffee can change a personality, a hotel preferance, a facial expression, a budget,

a meeting time, a driving route and a schedule without ever making a demand.

I love that coffee is dependable like clockwork, never changes its' taste or composition, never evaporates or melts.

I love that coffee is a staple you can find in the most luxurious seaside resport, basest prison guard post, calmest church courtyard, cheapest cafeteria and most expensive restaurant.

Man, I even love that coffee keeps you regular both digestively and emotionally.

But most of all I love that coffee is a grown up beverage.

No one's gonna backwash in it or spill it or gulp it down before I get a chance. I can pour, stir, breathe it in, savor each sip, hand a mug to my gratefully gazing Hubby and enjoy my pretty, floral mug all my myself.

And this is maybe enough to be a coffee lover forever.

What April Looks Like

2010-04-09T19:14:00.013-04:00

playtime outdoors as the temps went up

playdates with friends at home

...and the mess that ensued as a result

doesn't he look blissfully unaware?

Fall Creek Falls

with Mimi and Papa

Mimi and her grandboys

following their daddy through the woods

Doodlebug and the Hub at the Falls

the Falls.

There.

I just saved you a trip.

You're welcome.

Trust me.

visit to the family farm in Viola

barrel horses. They were a hit.

Daddy got to ride, too. Absolutely needed pictures of this.

This Writer even got a pony ride.

Easter Sunday

sweet brothers about to hunt eggs

on the hunt in the front yard in their pajamas

LOOT!!!!!!!!

the 5 of us, all cleaned up

trying to take a picture with just my husband...unsucessfully.

my little Easter eggs

ever wonder what "blessed" looks like? It's this right here.

yet MORE outdoorsiness and egg hunts

I Love that Honey Monkey

we were all a bit worn out from all the egg-hunting-outdoors-fun

even the Pony Pup loved the beautiful April fun

Showing off the goods

best buds

me and the Mamacita

There were a total of 4 egg hunts. It was a bit excessive.

excessive but delicious.

...and finally...

March Makes Moving Much More iMminent

2010-03-13T07:21:00.007-05:00

First, here are some of what March has held for us...

...shirtless hero stances...

...random goofiness...

...sibling harmony...

...family time focus...

...did I mention goofiness?...

...sweetness...

...SUPER good times with dearest friends...

...more goofiness - THAT was a fun night...

...aaaaand a trip to the Beach for the Hub and I to seek out the Grand Plan for our Future

(without boys, thank you Sissy for keeping them!)

which was completely bitterweet.
(see above pics with dearest friends to understand why.)

me and the Hub on our weekend getaway trip

Things I am finding as we plan our move to the Beach in less than 3 months:

1.) The Lord is in no hurry to show His cards on this one. We have no house waiting, no offer on our home here, therefore no movers locked in, no clue which schools are right for us down there yet, no actual hard and fast move date yet.

2.) I really really really don't like that.

3.) This isn't just a move, this is a Lesson for Me. God wants me to grow up in my faith. I am too dependant on a "breadcrumb trail" for security in my faith - too dependant on flags along the way to determine my level of calm in decision-making. This time, the Lord is showing me He isn't giving me a head's-up.

4.) So, I am learning to trust in a new way.

5.) My younger brother sent a very encouraging card (the first EVER?!?) which was kind and loving and I won't embarrass him by reciting it but enclosed there was a neat magnet which had a great Ralph Waldo Emerson quote:

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

6.) Sounds to my ears alot like Hebrews 11-13 which is where I have been:

"God has said:

'I will never leave you;

I will never forget you.'

So we can be sure when we say:

'I will not be afraid, because the Lord is my helper.'"

Are we sad to leave our sweet mountain and dear friends? Is it uncomfortable to stand before a blank canvas when God is silent except for His whispers and shouts that He is working on our behalf? Is it difficult to choose an uncertain avenue when the place we've been is solid?

Yep.

That's why they call it faith.

If it was easy they'd call it seeing.

"Lord it is my chief complaint that my faith is weak and faint."

-William Cowper

Career Plans

2010-03-02T08:02:00.002-05:00

Current Future Career Plans as of March 1, 2010

Doodlebug: "I don't know. I don't wanna go to college. But how will I become a doctor if I don't go to college?"

Honey Monkey: "I wanna be a guy who jumps out of 'heppicoppers' (helicopters) and a 'fighter-fighter' (firefighter) and a robber and a policeman who captures robbers."

Little Bunny: "A 'fighter-fighter' (firefighter) and a 'Boo Powder Rainer' (Blue Power Ranger)."

Letter to my Sons

2010-02-19T10:17:00.007-05:00

Boys~
you are 7.5, 4.5 and almost 3 yrs. Your Daddy and I have made a huge, life-altering, paradigm-shifting, stunningly surprising decision this month. We are moving home - to Mama's home - the Beach. One Day you will undoubtedly wonder what caused this chain of events - what made us choose this path - what enticed us to leave a perfectly good, sweet life on this Mountain to move to the Beach.
I try to answer your questions now in age-appropriate ways, to let you emote and complain and sort through your thoughts while pointing out exciting surprises that await you there. And I know without doubt - as well as I know whose voice calls me from your room at night, as well as I know how much you each weighed when you were born - that once we have moved there will be more emoting, more complaints (though I hope not too many) and more sorting through to be done. But once all of that is passed and you are grown, you will ask One Day "WHY". And I may have forgotten by then but Today, Now it is fresh and crystal clear. Since my hope is to print and bind these blog pages One Day for a tangible record of your childhood, I will explain here.

Once Upon a Time, in the summer of 1997 your Daddy came to visit me at my parent's home (that's Nana and Papa Mustache, married back then) at the Beach where I grew up. I know - that sounds like millenia ago, right? We were 19 years old, if you can fathom such a thing! We were falling in love, each silently wondering if maybe God would let us marry One Day and we did alot of introducing one another to our histories, short though they were. Like a line from one of my favorite movies: "That's what you do when you date - you try people on and see how they fit." (That's from "Sleepless in Seattle", boys.) While visiting me there, your Daddy who already and since time began knew he wanted to be a physician said "That's the kind of hospital I'd love to work at One Day." We married 2 years later. From that point on the Goal was:

Get To The Beach. Work for That Group. Live There.

We married there in that Beachtown but moved to the South for Daddy's continued education 3 months later. We were 21. I myself moved there sight-unseen. We lived in a miniscule, 500 sq-ft apartment in married housing...but that's a story for another time. After 2 years there we moved to the other end of that southern state, again for Daddy's education and lived there for 4 years. Doodle was born. We were married 6 years, Daddy became an MD and I was pregnant with HoneyMonkey. Daddy worked from that point, leaving med school and vying for a specific residency and then proving himself for 3 years while there harder than I can even begin to tell you. He was routinely overlooked, underappreicated, overworked and exhausted. He worked average 230 hours monthly during residency but was happy to do so since we were moving geographically ever closer to the Beachside. It was Our Dream, after all and we were putting in our dues. During the 3 years of residency we birthed not just HoneyMonkey but also Little Bunny and sacrificed tremendously financially and emotionally, just trying to get through residency. It was a ridiculously taxing season of life. We were broke, we were terminally overheated and we were seldom relaxed or together. But as the final year of a long road of medical training began Daddy finally had the credentials to present himself to his dream group, that Beachside town's physicians he'd first aspired to work for 11 years earlier and established a month of training there for himself. At the end of the first day working there he came home dejected, deflated, depressed. "No chance", his mentor had callously told him regarding him being offered a job in 6 months when residency ended. I remember seeing him sitting alone on the couch that first night, slouching off the end of the cushion his legs extended out before him completely, the look of defeat on his face. It was the Death of a Dream. That month was so sad. Our Dream wasn't within our reach. There would be no Beachside home. We would not live near Nana or Sissy. We would not raise you in flip-flops and shorts, tanned and crew-cut. Slowly we began to seek God, asking where in the world we would go now.

Then, Daddy was connected with a job opportunity back in the South. Friends from med school hailed from there and recommended it highly. The doors swung open - the contract was simple - the seasons and neighborhoods enticing - the manners and hospitality of the South beckoned us back and after 3 hot years of hard work with little reward save a diploma, we happily left for the Mountain. How can I describe this Mountain, the sweet life we have had here? I think only the eldest of you will remember it, even vaguely but boys - it was a sweet, nurturing season for us. Our tiny neighborhood, the snowfalls and autumn leaves, the summer lemonade stands around the corner, the baseball diamond, market, preschool, police station, post office, church and elementary school all within 2 steep albeit short blocks from our door. The safety, the fellowship, the polite familiarity - it is a precious, rare place and we have been happy here. We have friends and you do, too each of you. But somehow, it's also a demanding place. Being affluential, the community expectations involve mandatory private school educations which are astronomical. We could easily be in over our head, we realize. And private schools will bury us.

New Year's 2010 brought Nana's wedding to Papa Ted. We were there, remember? We stayed at the Beachside for 2 days, tacked on to the end of our wedding-participation trip for relaxation. Driving around we silently asked Beachtown residents "Do you know how lucky you are to live here?" Daddy asked me: "Want me to just see if That Group wants to look at my CV?" And that's all it took. Well, almost. 2 days later once we were home he emailed asking the group whether he could send his CV (his resume). They immediately said yes. The next day they called to talk brass tacks. Two days later they unanimously voted in a board meeting to offer Daddy a 3-year parternship track position. They told Daddy they had all been so impressed by him 2 years ago that they didn't need to interview him, that they would gladly wait till the school year ended because we wouldn't move you boys in the middle of the school year, and that had he waited 1 more week to contact them "this job wouldn't have existed anymore." They dismissed the other two applicants and pursued Daddy vehemently. The offered contract arrived. The wooing phone calls continued. And Daddy and I realized 2 things:

1.) This was a miracle.

2.) This was a terribly difficult decision.

We waded through the Pros and Cons lists, opinions, concerns, worries, questions and qualms. We prayed desperately, sought counsel, read the Word voraciously and stared at the ceiling in the dark at night hoping fluorescent word would appear there, detailing the Correct Decision for us. Once the offer appeared it was tough to jump at the chance after all. Our Original Dream was available again---but we'd already traded it in to build a New Dream from scratch. Our New Dream detailed the coming decades of passing varied seasons, shaggy-haired, and private-schooled sons, their weddings at our church's massive stone sanctuary, our neighbors determined for ages to come, our date nights at local cafes. The heartache of releasing this New Dream to open our hands and receive and revive the Old Dream has been troubling, laborious.

But we have decided.

We are going.

Our fears are not completely alleviated: will you boys like it? Will you be happy there as you have been here? Will it change you for the worse somehow? Will we regret leaving? Will we find the pain of change more burdensome than the pressures of staying? Are we doing the right thing? Are we ruining you?

It's difficult because we have loved life here. It has its' challenges but after residency you should understand we needed this occasion of bonding - two years of concentrated fusing as a family. If that's what we have been afforded here on this Mountain, it is enough and it is plenty to be grateful for.

We are going.

I am so pleased for your Daddy. He is being rewarded. Conspicuously, deservedly rewarded. And he has never, never sought reward. Your Daddy seeks to follow the Lord, provide for his family and tend patients. As a wife, I am beaming. As his cheerleader, I am elated.

Many, many people think now that your father and I are quite possibly schizophrenic. This will be 6 major moves in 11 years of marriage, all between 2 states. They wonder when we will stop moving, they tease us and they roll their eyes and they cannot relate. I get it, we're nuts and we move around alot. Occupational hazard of being married to an ambitious man. People who resist change in their own lives will also resist change in yours, my sons. But boys - when you have ambition, opportunity, blessing and courage: You Go.

Here's what Daddy and I have been learning from the Lord:

First:

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

is indeed a COMMAND, not a suggestion.

We will not parent in fear.

Lastly:

We want to be poured out and used up for the gospel of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

At age 32 therefore, we don't get to dictate that He is free to use us but only when and where we are comfortable with it.

And what we have always known since that day at the Lake when Daddy proposed:

We want to serve the Lord at one another's side, no matter where we are.

As long as we're together, we're good.

So, my little boys we are going to the Beach. We are leaving the Mountain. I pray in my deepest heart that you are understanding and that whatever sadness this brings you that you will forgive us. We love you all so very, tremendously much. We want the BEST for you. And the BEST is always following the "Parade of Providence" and God's loving direction.

All my love always ~ oxoxoxox Mommy

February by the Numbers

2010-02-18T07:08:00.005-05:00

February has brought...

Days school was cancelled because of snow: 2

Children with strep throat: at least 1, maybe 2

Random vomiting in the middle of the night episodes: 3

Tsps. of amoxicillin needed twice daily to treat strep throat: 1

Sundays we have been to church this month since we were all so healthy: 0

Nights that someone has climbed into our bed saying they had a sore throat/vomiting/fever/cough: maybe all

Pots of coffee perked daily: 2

New cookbooks from the Book Fair: 2

New recipes I have creatively made from Book Fair cookbooks: 0

Weeks we have waited through while having minor home repairs done: 3

Days we have had snow: somewhere around 8? 10? A million???

Dollars we got in a check for surprise Escrow overage: $740.10!

Days our renter is late paying rent, however: 20 (and counting)

Weekends in a row the Hub has worked: 6

Bags of candy we ultimately collected at Valentine's: 6 (all for the boys)

Decent-sized bowl of candy still left over: 1

"Dove Dark Chocolate" hearts that equal 1 serving size: 5

Days I have worked out: maybe 6

Days we have DVR'd the Vancouver Olympics and watched later on: 6

Days till the Hub and I leave for a March Florida weekend getaway: 16!!!

Weeks till SPRING officially begins: 4.5!

Bring it ON, Bad Guys. We Have Couch Cushions to Protect us!

2010-02-07T10:57:00.007-05:00

Pony Pup and Doodlebug lazily resting on ALL the couch cushions on the floor

Picture this~~~~~

it's 30 some-odd degrees outside for weeks now

it started occassionally dropping tiny, dry snowflakes this morning and has forgotten to stop

it's a weekend and we've been indoors and awake since 6:15AM

naturally, we are getting a little bored

...but my boys are creative geniuses with architecture and weapons training at their disposal.

That's how you get this...

notice all the Star Wars and random Superhero ("guy-guys") lined up around and on top of the fort, presumably protecting/guarding it and all the artillery (assorted light sabers and Nerf guns) stored inside, also presumably for future defensive manuevers once a siege begins

my well-trained Jedis

Best Friends for Life

2010-01-29T07:24:00.006-05:00

Our middle son, Honey Monkey is always surprising.

Our eldest, Doodlebug on the contrary, is predictable as Christmas.

Our baby, Little Bunny is sunshine and clouds like a confusing weather report.

...but that Monkey one in the middle...he keeps us guessing.

He's just as liable to haul off and punch you in the gut and then run off giggling

as he is to snuggle and smoosh you with kissses.

We shake our heads at him, wondering where he comes up with his answers

during Family Bible Time~~

why would he answer "I would kick him"

when asked how to act upon finding someone getting picked on at school???

Why would he answer "they would cut him in half"

when asked what the Wise Men did upon finding the Babe in the Manger???

Maybe he's mixing metaphors, merely forgetting main themes, just learning these concepts or confusing stories.

Or maybe he's slipping through the cracks and will end up a terrorist.

Dramatic? Sure.

But that's what parents wonder, isn't it?

Monkey was robbed the 3 solid years of attention that Doodle was granted as

The First and Only Child,

as Bunny was born just 18 months after Monkey arrived.

I remember grieving, worried that I was robbing Monkey unfairly after all the bundles and showers of 1-on-1 spoiling that Doodle had.

It was truly troubling.

I hadn't had time to "secure him in our relationship" the way parenting magazines suggest.

He wasn't potty-trained, still used a sippy sup, was carried around all the time, slept in a crib.

He was a baby. My baby still.

The someone said to me: "You are giving him a best friend for life."

And I cannot tell you how that calmed and comforted me.

And of course, it all worked out. They adjusted. I adjusted.

Now all 3 are perfect stair-steps~ adorable~ they play equally and constantly

sharing, wrestling, quarreling, conspiring, negotiating, imagining, helping.

This week at preschool where Bunny and Monkey attend separate classes,

Monkey was given 2 cookies and sent out with his class to play on the playground.

I was told later that Monkey saved a cookie and gave it to Bunny out on the playground where they meet with their classes for shared time.

He saved it.

He shared it.

A cookie!

They must be best friends after all.

No terrorism on the horizon! Horray! *sigh of relief*

Nana's Wedding to Papa Ted - 1/2/2010

2010-01-23T17:17:00.008-05:00

wedding grandsons

our family of five all cleaned up

my Hub escorting my Mom down the aisle

Nana's Hub breaking the glass

(for all you gentiles:

this represents the ending of the Old Life and the start of a New Life Together)

all 5 of the grandsons
ages: 7, 5, 4, 2 and 1

the wedding party
~~~
we're all family now!

entering the reception about to let our hair down

the Bride and Groom

sending the Bride and Groom off

back down the aisle to "This Will Be" by Natalie Cole

yay!

we love our Mommy

sending off the Bride and Groom!

What Cool Boys Wear to a Wedding

2009-12-31T10:47:00.003-05:00

We are going non-traditional with the boys' shoes for their Nana's wedding this weekend.

These will look cool with their tuxes, right?

(I couldn't resist...heehee.)

It's that Weird Week Between Christmas and New Year's

2009-12-28T07:44:00.004-05:00

So Christmas came and went without this Writer remembering to take a picture.

I know, I know.

But seriously: I just forgot!

Here's what I do remember...

Biggest triumph: Honey Monkey, age 4 screaming "I GOT DIS!!!!!" opening his Bat Cave.

They have all played almost non-stop with it.

Biggest surprise: strangely helpful that the Blonde Pony Pup ate the cookies left for Santa. Looked very authentic.

Biggest frustration: Pony Pup also chewed to oblivion 3 out of 4 new dog gifts.

Causing me to wonder: "Why do I even bother?"

Most pitiful lament (also most humorous request): Little Bunny, age 2.5

telling us mournfully:

"I need my DVD" because he wanted to sleep with it.

Saddest thought: missing extended family.

Most adorable reaction: Little Bunny prefering his brothers to open his gifts for him and introduce him to them while looking on excitedly.

Cutest Comment: "I heard his sleigh on the roof last night", Doodlebug, age 7 on

Christmas morning.

Sweetest moment: the Hub set up a TV and DVD player in the Cave downstairs (his office) and we snuggled in the super-dark, super-warm afternoon (heated basement, obviously)

and watched the BBC Austen film he bought for this Writer as a surprise.

It was the middle of the afternoon and we had 3 whole hours. Was luxurious.

Best gift maybe ever.

NO, true best gift ever: The Hub had 4 days off. Totally off.

Best news: we leave for Florida wedding trip on Friday morning, New year's Day!

Always helps to have something to perk your up after Christmas and that'll do it!

"Macaroni Grill" Wait Staff: Eat Your Hearts Out

2009-12-21T19:26:00.006-05:00

In preparation for my mom's wedding in less than 2 weeks, the boys were gracious enough to all try on their tuxes and the result was ridiculously adorable.

However, they all resemble tiny restaurant waiters!

...and This Writer notes that they are in serious need of haircuts before then.

Little Bunny's Bed

2009-12-21T10:47:00.003-05:00

Found in our 2.5 year-old's bed while changing his linen:

9 cars
7 books
2 Bat Man figures
1 Superman figure
1 wodden beaded abacus
1 stuffed bear which is not a polar bear named "Polar Bear"
1 stuffed tiger named "Tiger"
1 blankey named "BeeBee"

Ever seen the A&E's channel show "Hoarders"? Now you don't have to. This was a free preview.

December Delights

2009-12-17T16:23:00.012-05:00

December has kept us busy and loving it.
Here's what we've been up to...

**********

Since Thanksgiving (when we had THREE rounds of company)

we have had SNOW!!!!!!!!

and visits from my sister, Aunt Sissy

and the Hub's brother, Uncle Bubba, with a pal to boot.

We loooooooove when aunts and uncles come visit - we are spoiled and we know it.

**********

We are members of a fabulous and sometimes-rowdy adult Sunday School class.

(That may sound like an oxymoron: "Adult SS class" and "fabulous" but it's true.)

This was the night of our annual

Christmas Party Progressive Dinner and White Elephant Gift Exchange

which gets really noisy and incredibly fun.

We were lucky enough to help host a course this year and it was a blast.

The grandparents' assistance was essential on this one and so appreciated!

***********

Our home is decorated and warm and cozy.

Twinkle lights arch the entryway outside, a wreath greets you at our door and the family room breathes with evergreen.

Since I am both Jewish and also a Believer in Jesus we enjoy a truly spiritual season and we are loving explaining to our boys how the two faiths merge at Christmas and Hannukah.

We decorate the tree while singing carols and eating candy canes

and

we light the menorah while playing dreidle and eating gelt.

Hannukah = a true story of God's faithful rescue of His children through a Leader.

Christmas = a true story of God's faithful rescue of His children through a Savior.

It all makes perfect sense.

God does not contradict Himself.

**********

There has been 1 Block Party, 1 Board Meeting Dinner Party, 1 double date to the new pizza place, and so much babysitting that my kids are losing it.

The boys themselves have all enjoyed parties in their classes at school and Doodlebug had more festivities going on than I could even keep up with!

We had a top secret field trip to the IMAX downtown with his class in pajamas to view
The Polar Express on the big silver screen in 3-D which was too fun.

The kids were all surprised and it was a hoot to hear them

flip out when they caught on to the plan.

He had parties at school, crafts and endless homemade goodies to bring home.

His 1st grade class made gifts for all their parents- they constructed a Cookbook.

It was made of recipes from each of the kids, labeled and typed individually.

Here is Doodle's contribution:

We even made some reindeer food (made of oatmeal, birdseed and glitter)

to help sustain Santa's help on Christmas Eve.

Honey Monkey and Little Bunny each had a neverending supply of homemade crafts that came home bi-weekly including ornaments and paintings that adorned our fridge amply.

And cards have arrived from all over the country which we enjoy displaying.

If you sent one, it's up there.

We are all set to slow down...just 1 "Happy Birthday Jesus Party", 1 Christmas Eve service, 2 more nights of Hannukah, 1 potluck with neighbors and 1 Christmas morning to go!

...and a cookie swap tonight where I will bring these yummy

Double Peanut Butter cookies....

and with one bite my husband is going to fall in love with me all over again....

Lessons

2009-12-17T08:08:00.005-05:00

Parenting is teaching me many, many lessons.

The first is that

Nothing You Read About Someone Else's Lessons Can Truly Prepare you for Your Own Lessons

but even so, I will share some of what I am learning

raising three boys and a golden retriever with the Hub.

1.~ Days when nothing is destroyed are precious and few. Cherish them.

Perhaps write them down, number them and memorialize them for future reference on days when many things are destroyed systematically.

2.~If you smell something coming up the hallway to a bedroom and think:

"My, it smells like poop up here"

don't get distracted and walk anywhere else.

Go Immediately.

Watch where you step.

Have strong stomach and weak gag relex.

3.~ Being irritated, exasperated, annoyed, or flabbergasted when you are intentionally

spooked, scared, jumped out at, teased, poked, or otherwise punk'd

will only encourage them.

Be cool.

Make sure you scare them much more effectively, tickle with less mercy, spook them scarier

and they'll be awed.

Better still sometimes they will quit.

4.~ Don't believe for a second that you just KNOW what gender baby you are having.

5.~Don't believe that you have a "laid-back baby"

because your hopital stay is quiet.

6.~Newborns make you REALLY REALLY appreciate sleep.

Sometimes they can make you loathe all other human adults you see on Earth who do not

have a newborn and can therefore sleep through the night every single night.

7.~ Kids who hit age 2 are a miracle in some ways even more than when they were

miraculously created in utero and painfully borne.

8.~ Boys inherently believe all Barbies must be something every female would want.

9.~ Boys love to see their parents kiss but are also extremely grossed out by it.

10.~ No mattter the disposition of the firstborn, adding siblings brings about a leadership, kindness, bossiness, and protective streak enough to assure anyone of

The Birth Order Rules.

11.~ Money is irrelevant. Worth is changable, rationale about the value of a toy, blanket, or creature is subjective and attachment is utmost.

When a mother sits up awaiting the cleaning process of a beloved blankie to finish

in the middle of the night because a child whispers horrified:
"I don't seep, I don't have my White BeeBee..."

you realize: money is subjective.

The BeeBee is incredibly valuable indeed.

12.~ Kids get over stuff at their own pace. This includes hatred of certain green vegetables, thumb-sucking, diaper useage, waking at night, needing naptimes

and being carried around everwhere.

Unfortunately it also includes double naps in the daytime, that toothless grin, happiness just to see you walk in the room, contentedness through milk and

the joys of a completely clear calandar.

13.~ My personal life motto:

Everthing is a phase. The good, the bad, the ugly: EVERYTHING is a phase.

14.~ You will be humiliated.

There may be unidentifiable gross-ness on your couch when company arrrives, your child may throw a tantrum at the grocery store, pee in public, ruin your clothes with vomit, call out the lady in line ahead of you for having a big rear end, crash someone's glass table to bits, show his privates to neighbohood friends, bite someone else's kid, moon his grandmother and repeat things to their teachers you hadn't thought they heard.

(These have all happened to me.)

Before you react, consider why you are embarrased.

Then die to self and don't humiliate your child in return.

15.~ Boys think their mother

the most Beautiful Princess in the World

for a season.

It rocks.

16.~ You keep other parents you admire close at hand instinctively.

17.~ Certain things just don't matter anymore.

18.~ Your kids are always the exception.

19.~ Christmas, Disney World and the beach are magical again.

20.~ You realize: I am the Mom. The Only Mom they get, poor things.

I am essential to this person turning out well.

I have to make sure they not only are fed, warm and provided for but I have to get them through school, teach them colorblindness and friendship, how to handle money and girls,

concepts of integrity, appreciation of life and beauty, and love.

I. Need. God.

I cannot do this well alone.

21.~ I am the luckiest girl alive.

Autumn's Arrival

2009-11-22T18:36:00.006-05:00

Autumn has definitely come to the mountain

and the first fire of the season brought sparks of family entertainment

and plenty of cold weather snuggling.

the boys settling in for the first fire - they wanted hot dogs and marshmallows to roast

but this Writer was ill-prepared

...and the boys are learning all about Thanksgiving in school

with festive crafts proclaiming "What I Am Thankful For"

like this Native American Headress (I think?) which carries dictation of Little Bunny's favorite things:

"Mommy, Daddy, my budders".

If only I had a photo of Honey Monkey's autumn leaf craft stapled in his class collage on the bulletin board in his room at school. He dictated:

"(Honey Monkey) is thankful for 'food. Hot dogs and ketchup is delicious.'"

(improper grammer and all)

the boys trying to take one simultaneously-smiling picture. Didn't happen.

And new pajamas and socks brought HUGE comfort to all 5 of us.

It's the small things in life, isn't it?

Daylight Saving Time changed the evenings here and we all head upstairs for the bedtime routine

(which still takes aound 45 minutes, start to finish)

at around 7:15 nowadays,

a far cry from the late-night Sonic ice cream sundae runs and park playdates of summer evenings.

Colds and coughs are a weekly occurance lately and

we are keeping Tylenol in business single-handedly.

But this week is THANKSGIVING

and there is so very, very much to be thankful for.

Not the least of which are my three very noisy, shrieking, tumbling, breathlessly laughing boys.

BEST QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

"He's like R2-D2 and I'm like C-3PO." - Doodlebug, after translating his little brother's request into English for me

"Seriously. Mama. I'm FOUR. Seriously." - Honey Monkey, negotiating to get out of a nap

"...and Mater." - Little Bunny, ending a list of his best friends with a Disney Cars movie character

Future Occupation Plans

2009-11-08T18:09:00.002-05:00

Last night at bedtime we asked the boys if they had any ideas what they were planning to be when they grow up.

Doodlebug, age 7 is ambitious:

"First a doctor, then a paleontologist, then a crystal miner."

Honey Monkey, age 4 is humorous:

"A dinosaur (big grin inserted here)."

Little Bunny, age 2.5 is mischevious:

"Nooooo, Daddy (playful kick here)."

Halloween Birthdays

2009-11-01T13:38:00.009-05:00

FOUR and SEVEN!!!!

Star Wars Heroes Obi Wan, Captain Rex and Commander Cody

Obi Wan

Commander Cody

Captain Rex

Bunny and Buddy, aged 2 1/2

little friends

trick or treat!!!
ready for trick-or-treating with neighbors

Daddy and Little Bunny

CANDY!!!!

Birthday costume party on Halloween at our place

friends with HM

"Cake Pops", Mommy's red vevet cake on a stick

Honey Monkey bobbbed and got the apple first instead of Doodlebug!

Games were Daddy's idea - Find the Candy Banana in the Pile of Leaves, Scarecrow Stuffing contest and Apple Bobbing...he's an idea man.

Spongebob Bouncing!

Mommy and Mimi

birthday boys

Mommy and Nana

Sissy and Nana New scooters for my boys

Sweet Doodle :)

Hawaii

2009-10-30T10:26:00.009-04:00

If a picture is worth a thouusand words than these should spare you about a million of mine gushing about Kauai and our beautiful 10 1/2 year anniversary trip this October.

Was it beautiful?

Breathtaking.

Was it romantic?

Unbelievably.

Was it relaxing?

Completely.

Has it totally ruined me for regular life?

Undeniably.

Loverboy Luke

2009-10-14T16:11:00.003-04:00

Normally this Writer does not refer to my children by their given names on this blog

or actually - come to think of it - in everyday life, either

but this is just too juicy to resist.

A girlfriend of mine has a 1st grade daughter, all 4 feet and blonde locks of her

and she, by her own admission is in love with our eldest son.

One day this may perturb me,

girls ogling my handsome boys,

but for now it is adorable

and I had to memorialize it.

My friend handed two of these love letters to me today saying that they are regularly scattered throughout her home and they would never be missed and I got her permission to post them here for posterity.

I have withheld the name of the innocent admirer

but I know who it is and this Writer won't forget.

And besides, if they are married One Day

I have a great story to print off and frame, right?

handwritten 1st grade declarations of love from our eldest's admirer

love letters received by our eldest, age almost-7

This Week in Numbers

2009-10-08T12:14:00.010-04:00

2 - number of new green kitchen towels I treated my kitchen to from Target

1 - number of new green kitchen towels the Pony Pup put a hole in while tossing it playfully

6 - number of days there was at least one child home sick this week

4 - boxes of Tylenol purchased

113 - dollars spent at the vet treating the Pony Pup's allergic skin reaction

11 -pills he is taking daily for the time being

700 - days it apparently rained this week

2 - Wii games rented from Blockbuster to pass the time indoors

0 - number of days Little Bunny went accident-free this week

2 - birthday parties we attended

5 - places I called trying to procure a moonwalk bounce house for the boys' joint birthday party coming up on Halloween

1 - places that had a bounce house available - Hallelujah!

50 -invites ordered

2 - cowboys outfits carefully assembled for Hillbilly Day at preschool, worn proudly (pics below)

6 - night shifts in a row the Daddy is currently working

4 - times I am gargling daily with salt water to stave off boys' viruses

25 - number of degrees the weather is flucuating almost daily

8 - days until the Daddy and I leave for our anniversary trip!!!

4 - combined number of family members who are helping care for our boys while we are gone

1 - TV not working

1 - ottoman leg broken

71 - current temp inside

82 - temp expected tomorrow and sunny

66 - temp expected this Saturday, and rain

55 - temp expected next Tuesday with rain, anticipated day of our school's big annual Carnival

5 - minutes ago I should have left the house to help with Ice Cream Day as a room mom for Doodlebug's class!!!

...and quotables from this week...

* "Oh. My. Goodness." - DoodleBug (almost 7) tasting pound cake for the first time and loving it

*"But I can't reach it with my tiny, little hands." - Honey Monkey (almost 4) complaining

*"Da-ba water, da-ba water...a-mim, a-mim." - Little Bunny (2.5) trying to sing "God Our Father" prayer ("God our Father, God our Father...Amen, Amen.")

Hey Lady, just leave the money.

2009-09-28T18:32:00.008-04:00

Well, he did it! Doodlebug pulled his own tooth.

Up till now the Daddy had yanked them each out for him sometimes with permission,

and sometimes not so much.

It was a rather bloody affair this first experience with pulling his own tooth and hopefully next time Doodle will be slightly more adept.

Former nurse or not: this Writer was suddenly a little squeamish.

But, it's all over now! His words:

"Hey, Mom, when you come in and check on us tonight leave the money."

This is a child who clearly does not believe in any tooth-related fairies.

~~~~and as a bonus, here's some of what goes on while I am not at home at bath time

but the Daddy is...

Equally Adorable and Mischevious

2009-09-20T07:12:00.011-04:00

Dear Little Bunny,

as the Writer of this blog which will One Day hopefully adequately serve as a "baby book" since you came along too quickly after your brothers to garner an actually handwritten book of your own, and since the sweetness of childhood memories require that the adorable memories be juxtaposed with the mischievous ones, you should know that what you are about to read is completely true.

*****

Picture this: A rainy Saturday at the end of a full week of rainy days. Playdate at a friend's house with your brothers and your Mommy. The host is the 6 year-old best friend of your brother Doodlebug's and the house the most impressive, most lovely of maybe any that this Writer has ever been inside of. Beautiful things everywhere you look: pale sky blues, creamy dreamy yellows, crystal tchotchkes, canvas watercolors, white couches and carpets, authentically rose-scented rooms centered around dozens of actual fresh-cut greenhouse-grown roses. And then.........a CRASH, distinctly glassy. Running to investigate we see two little heads peering down from the vintage polished banister overhead down onto the scene below that the Mommys stumble gingerly upon - glass, sparkles and water trickling down the wide cherry coffee table and onto the thick Oriental carpet below. A collectible snow globe had SOMEHOW been pitched (with force? to test gravity? just because?) through the twisted iron banister bars to whatever lay below which in this case was a glass-topped coffee table, the glass having been custom-cut years before "around the time (their) kids were born" which means it has survived 6 1/2 years with their kids but only about 3 playdates with mine.

The two heads peering down from overhead? Little Bunny and the tiny 4 year-old hostess, sister to Doodle's best friend, nervous and indignantly proclaiming her innocence and quickly scampering off to find and present her own whole, un-shattered snow globe as further proof of her righteousness. Little Bunny stood with head through the iron bars, looking like a rightly-imprisoned jailbird shouting "Me!Me!Me!" and pointing his chubby finger to his own pudgy chest proudly incriminating himself.

Needless to say, there was alot of apologizing, sopping up of water, carefully picking glass bits off the rugs. And shortly thereafter we left. Our hosts were incredibly gracious - embarrassed for us, sweetly shooing away talk of replacement glass and amends-making, generously offering lunch and forgiveness instead but this Writer's pride and nerves just could not accept anymore sympathetic kindness right then. Home we went through the rain and dense noonday fog to peanut butter cracker sandwiches and strawberries and naptimes during which this Writer promptly had flowers ordered and delivered to the morning's victims of LB's crimes of snow-globe-tossing-treachery.

All that to say: it is only your kid who you can love so completely, so fully, so immensely even when such things as these occur. Even our Golden Pony Pup gets more hollering when he is destructive and he's younger and a dog. But my sweet, blond unexpected joy? You are very nearly perfect to me. Your faults, mistakes and wrong choices familiar and logical to my eyes, your kindnesses and loving gifts of smiles, jokes and hugs are commended and rewarded maybe disproportionately.It's a mystery of parenting that probably One Day will fade when you are dating and driving and looking to break rules far more weighty than Do Not Throw Toys. But for now, you are perfect. Almost.

~Also: while "skating" on a pair of toy cars the same morning at home, my Little Bunny busted face-first on the hardwood floors and earned a huge fat lip. Popsicles helped. Pictures to follow.~

Love,

Mommy

He Pee'd in the Potty

2009-08-21T11:17:00.003-04:00

Stop the presses, hold all my calls, invite the papparrazi and alert the Pentagon...........

He peed. IN THE POTTY.

If you have a kid, you KNOW how big a deal this is.

Enough said.

HoneyMonkey and Golden PonyPup

...and this one if for free, it was just too adorable.

It's not "Having Company" When it's Family

2009-08-20T08:48:00.006-04:00

Bubba w/Doodle Bug, Dabbo w/Honey Monkey, Auntie w/her 2,

and Us w/Little Bunny.....aaaaaand Dolly, naturally posing

(not pictured: Mimi, Papa and our Golden Pony-Pup)

Hero Worship

(click on pics to see larger image -you should just see HM's face up close)

Little Bunny trying to get chased - he got caught instead

Bubba vying for Favorite uncle status. It's a tight race and he and Dabbo are competitive.

Bunny making good use of the water fountain.

Hard work, that playground equipment.

Staying young.

Us, married 10+ years already!

Future Sampras?He finally learned to pump his legs - YAY. For a kid who likes to swing as much as he does,

it's a blessing. Trust.

Watching Wii Mario Kart tourneys.

One good thing to come out of Nina's Homegoing?
FAMILY TIME.
Daddy's Brother "Dabbo" (so-dubbed by our eldest long ago) came from oversees to spend time here in The States.
We took the opportunity to have a weekend of family time here at our place.
All 3 of Daddy's siblings, 2 of the kids' cousins, Mimi and Papa with Dolly and a partridge in a pear tree came to visit us on the mountain.
We had plenty of good eats, (too much in fact) swimming, Wii Mario Kart tournaments,
outdoor chalk drawing lessons, playground outings, hiking, and peals of laughter...
mostly at Bubba, the youngest of the siblings and inherently hilarious - intentional or not.

All that was missing? Our Aunt Bee. We missed you, B!!!!!!

It was a great time. Hopefully an annual event!

Doodle's 1st Day of 1st Grade

2009-08-12T08:57:00.008-04:00

~~~~~~first.....blasts from the past....~~~~~~

When he was an only child for the last time.

The new big brother, 2005 with Honey Monkey

Doodle at 3, pouting

Baby Doodle Bug, age 3

*****

~~~~~and now, a 1st grader...~~~~~

Doodle bug: front row, white polo shirt - he fought me on that. Wanted a ratty old Tshirt.

Camo shorts was compromise enough I told him.

isn't that a wonderful room?!? a full wall of windows open to the

wooded "outdoor classroom"

Doodle is so pleased with himself. He's always been way mature.

Luckily he smiles tirelessly for me...

...and he poses for me in front of his cubby. He wanted a locker like High School Musical, but settled for this.

Checking in.

The Hub and Doodle (AKA: Him and Mini-Him).

No way should I have a 1st grader. Aren't I still 24?

In 2 more years, Honey Monkey will be a kindergartner and the following year Little Bunny follows.

My precious Bug.

********

Our baby, the one who was 3lbs 11oz at birth? He started 1st grade today.

He is almost 7 years old.

Unbelievable.

Actually, literally hard to fathom.
His new 1st grade teacher is still on maternity leave, so his teacher till around Halloween is his assistant teacher from his kindergarten room. What an especially seamless transition we know that will make things for Doodle.

Today he asked would I please walk him through the big double front doors of the main entrance and he gladly held my hand all the way through the halls. He won't always want to hold hands I know and well he should outgrow that in time, like any self-respecting young guy. Today though I relished it completely and packed it away in mental bubble wrap.

My little Doodle Bug.

Our Nina

2009-08-11T19:15:00.006-04:00

our boys with their Nina, July 2009

This is the beginning of the school year.

Tomorrow is the Official 1st Day of 1st Grade for Doodle and he is exuberant and ready.

...but

our week has been overshadowed by a sad reality and school and all that it brings has been simmering somewhere on a back burner since our beloved Nina passed away this last weekend, between Sunday night and Monday morning.

Nina is the grandmother of the Daddy here in our home - the first patient my physician husband ever cared for, having treated her leg which was burned during summer canning at age 6 in her kitchen.

Our Daddy and his two brothers were the apple of their Nina's eye,

known to be treated to as many home-cooked meals, backyard baseball games

and ghost stories their small bodies and imaginations could contain.

Nina warmed them with hand-quilted blankets, personal poetry, endless Southern cooking and a belief in the importance of family gatherings.

Having been the eldest of 10 children herself Nina was biologically biased and big on family.

Here was a woman who was born on a farm 15 minutes from where she died 90 years later but who lived a very large life.

Nina moved her young family with her husband from Tennessee to Arizona when her children were young - a woman who left all her siblings, all the Southern gentle hospitality she had always known, all the roads and buildings she'd ever seen to move out West and set out on her own with her children and her man.

Having moved 5 times already in our own life together, this Writer has such admiration for what that undertaking requires.

And here is a woman whose life can be counted in faithfulness to her chosen quests - marriage and children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, distant family branches that stretch as far as the eye can see, church and Sunday attendance, service and sacrifice based on conviction.

Our Nina was a monument to a life that finished well.

The Hub was with her when she passed, holding her hand. For that act there aren't words to express the pride this Writer knows.

Many trips have taken us to the little home of our Daddy's grandparents and for a long time this Writer wondered "was this the last time?" Finally, the last time has come.

Gratefully, my boys' grandfather captured a picture of them gathered forcibly onto Nina's hospital bed - some persuaded easily, others not so much.

(That's it above.)

"For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." - Phil 1:21 (NAS)

but my favorite...

"Christ means everything to me in this life, and when I die I'll have even more."

-Phil 1:21(God's Word Trans.)

Sayonara Summer or It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-08-07T15:06:00.005-04:00

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. "

-Groucho Marx

That was for free.

Today is the last Friday of summer break for DoodleBug.

1st grade begins Wednesday morning, bright and early.

We have spent the better part of the last week ignoring in large part major cleaning around here, content only to clean and immediately recycle the same dishes and clothes, thaw and heat easy pre-prepped dinners from the freezer, sweep minimally only when the PlayDoh/Goldfish/whatever mess gets too eye-catching under their chairs, and generally neglect any majorly arduous tasks in favor of the playground and friends.

Was really quite fun and the week has flown.

There isn't the same melancholy as there was last year when Doodle started

kindergarten - that was monumental and this is more familiar.

But this Writer will certainly miss the spontaneity of a late-night ice cream sundae run with my boys and sleeping in till 7 or 8something-ish after a fun night with friends.

There's something vaguely exhausting about being the parent sometimes

facing the responsibility of waking, dressing, feeding, supporting, reading to, checking on, clocking in and going after your kids for the entire shoolyear that gets a little put on hold during summertime. It feels decadent.

But the school year brings a buzz to the end of a hazy summer

and promises reward and growth for rising to challenges.

Embarrassingly, too often this Writer is guilty of wanting edges of a situation to change - wanting a different set of circumstances, wanting to keep the same mindset, no added effort required to navigate a challenge.

This is because I wrongly hate being corrected.

A friend quoted yesterday some powerful words from Proverbs 16 that this Writer needed to hear, especially facing the tasks of raising a young trio of boys which as anyone might tell you is daunting every single day:

"Commit your works to the LORD, and your thoughts will be established."

Not the other way around.

It doesn't say "Commit to doing whatever you want and your mind will be put at ease."

It takes some faith.

Blind, perhaps. Enabling, definitely. Ill-advised, never.

Raising boys takes faith. I needed a reminder.

And so: we're off! Second year of educating our brood...Here we go!

Today's Rain Solution= Apple Green PlayDoh

2009-07-31T15:58:00.010-04:00

creative geniuses

Dooddle Bug's ingenuitive piece titled "Big Worm"

proud Honey Monkey - took 3 tries to get a picture with it away from in front of his face

Little Bunny is normally shirtless - don't be alarmed

...aaaaaaaaaaaand more rain today...

happily though I have my Aunt's trusty homemade PlayDoh recipe and ingredients on hand!

Apple Green was the requested hue today.

Doodle Bug's compliment came:
"It's great cuz you don't hafta worry about mixing colors."

(Clearly we need to start school again and soon.)

The homemade stuff trumps store-bought for us becuase

it's like a parrafin hand treatment, so softening from the oil

and so moldably pliant.

It should last 5 days in decent Tupperware.

It goes like this:

PlayDoh

2C water

3T vegetable oil

~~boil together~~

(seperate bowl mix:)

2.5C flour

1/2C salt

1T powdered alum (baking ingredient with spices on baking aisle)

After boiling remove from heat -- add food coloring as desired -- add liquid to dry ingredients -- stir well -- when cooled enough knead like bread dough.

Not that this Writer acutally kneads or bakes bread dough.

Just saying.

Dance Partying SuperHeroes

2009-07-30T17:22:00.005-04:00

we torture our poor Pup

the Stance of the Heroes

battling evil in dishcloths and blankies

notice Little Bunny's fingers splayed creatively
and Doodle Bug's concentrated tongue

gettin' jiggy

trying to double-turn over their heads

they get DOWN with their bad selves

happiness

Robot Dancing

get down, baby!

We've had some rain

It's stayed real wet

As far as you can see.

We've stayed indoors

For many hours

Trying to stay happy.

Our mom gets bored

We all get nuts

About to turn cross-eyed.

So turn up the tunes

And break loose awhile

Live it up while we're inside!

Weekends are the Best

2009-07-21T09:46:00.010-04:00

Sometimes our "weekend" isn't at the same time as everyone else's.

It's an occupational hazard of being married to a guy who sacrificially works days, nights, weekends and holidays in a rotating fashion and

sometimes it does bite.

To be sure, when we have a Friday night that brings the start of a long stretch of work

for the hubby

and a long stretch of semi-solitude for us here at the house

it can feel unfair

when everyone else is celebrating and kicking back for the weekend.

But when we have a day or two or three in the middle of the work week when everyone else is

slaving away at work

and we are lying around lazily and napping and playing

it does feel luxurious.

I freely admit we love that.

It's weird - but it's our reality and we're used to it.

This week we used our "weekend" to visit the children's museum here in town

which our boys totally love.

They excavated dinosaur bones, sent boats down a stream, made clay pizzas, met up with Curious George, worked simple machines and danced to music.

And then we walked around downtown in some lovely weather

and all noshed on some cheesburgers.

You should know the picture of the Two of Us cracking up was not staged - we were actually cracking up at me.

This Writer cannot seem to find the right button when I try to snap a self-portrait...time and again I switch the camera off so we watch the lens retract instead of flash.

It's an unbreakable habit.

He finds this hilarious.

It was a GREAT "weekend"!!!

Happy 4th of July and other Summery Things

2009-07-06T20:28:00.009-04:00

For this family, holidays and family gatherings are synonymous.

The 4Th of July brought lots of family to visit and lots of FOOD with them.

This Writer is therefore dieting this week!!!

Plenty of pictures captured this entirely wonderful weekend.

To cap off the festivities, our family of 5 plus my Mom the Bride

headed across the way to the Club

as guests of our wonderful neighbors who we just adore

and watched some of the best fireworks

we've ever seen --apart from the Mouse House, naturally.

(those cannot be beat - I am a Floridian at heart, after all and am loyal)

The weather was clear and dark and a slight bathwater -warm breeze

blew up gently over the rocks and made us dreamily comfortable as we watched the colors blasting directly overhead.

Watching the ant-sized versions of fireworks all over the city below from our perch at the edge of the mountain was a tremendous treat

and afterwards my boys all road home on their backs in the bed of the Hubby's pickup

while I leisurely wound our way home.

From now on we will intentionally vie for an annual invite from our unsuspecting neighbors.

Summer on this Tennessee mountain is serenely beautiful.

Bubbles percolating on our back porch that blow around under the circulating fans,

sprinklers in the front yard that bring all the neighbors running to play in the water together,

a trampoline that briefly sways with happy jumpers,

friends' gatherings that end long after a school night's curfew...

it's a wonderful summer.

Summertime Means Vacation

2009-06-24T19:34:00.023-04:00

We got home around 11PM on Sunday night, Father's Day.

It was admittedly an interesting way to spend a Father's Day,

altogether in the minivan for 11 hours

but it was a small price to pay for maybe the

Best.

Week.

Ever.

Saying I am homesick now for Florida even with its' ridunkulous, uncalled-for heat is a monumentally silly understatement.

What I feel now is more akin to desperate, rose-colored-glasses-wearing longing.

It was a beachy week, with enough swimming to make even my husband officially state that he was tired of swimming.

And that's saying something.

It was a week of sand and sweets and sleeping in.

It was a week of emotional events and loving embraces and sensational sunsets.

It was a week of some of the best photos my boys have ever taken.

Most were unintentional candids, obviously.

It was a week of celebrated days off, snuggling little boys, clear blue water, exotically rented housewares, mileage on our aging van, seashell souveniers, palm trees zooming by the car windows, blazing heat, splashes we didn't mind, giggling children who slept deeply after a dreamy day filled with every childhood pleasure

and heartfelt promises to return.

We both strive to create an idyllic space for our boys.

We both desire to fill their memories of childhood with...

~snow, sparkling trees, giving hearts and the Miraculous Birth at Christmas~

~stuffed turkeys, family time and pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving~

~special days of being King of the House on their birthdays~

~weekends of sports, visits with friends and Sunday naps~

...and neon summers of beach family vacation, day camp, ice cream, laughter and heat.

For our family and especially for this Writer who spent many summers on the same

coastal Florida sand it was heaven.

Or at least the closest I can imagine.

This Writer stood in the surf, past knee-deep in the morning water

and watched only 3 boats way Out There.

One was too far away to identify.

One was a rushing speed boat.

One was a placid sailboat.

On vacation, I am the sailboat.

Baseball Season and the Mini-Him

2009-06-10T07:12:00.001-04:00

Baseball season #1, most likely the first of many ended last week here for us on the Mountain. Doodle Bug showed such vast improvement that I believe he may have just "found" his sport of choice.

His picture is the one on the bottom.

Can you take a guess as to who is above?

Yes~ that would be the Daddy.

Spooky.

Doodle was hitting off the pitch (NOT the "T", mind you)

fielding balls,

tagging out runners,

perfecting his form,

and loving everything about baseball.

Except the scratchy white pants.

He wasn't wild about sliding onto a base but he sure knew how to converse with runners on his base like he was Barbara Walters interviewing them on world peace.

He reports that shortstop is his favorite position.

I predict MLB drafts in his future.

Before the Presidency but after med school.

He would add Langley.

He wants to be the First Ever U.S. President with a baseball /espionage background.

School also ended a couple weeks ago.

Doodle's report card?

Perfection.

He had the two sweetest teachers in Earth so this Writer is slightly trepidatious about 1st Grade.

We had it so good.

School is sorely missed around here for Doodle Bug, Honey Monkey and this Writer.

Lots of playdates, some time in the street with neighbors, VBS and vacation next week to look forward to are keeping us busy enough most days though.

By next summer Honey Monkey will join the soccer and baseball and basketball

playing and the next year Little Bunny will join the ranks and then it's all over.

I will be one of those complete stereotypes.

Love it.

You ain't LIVED till your kid has scored a run, man.

As Doodle Bug would say: "Sweet-o."

This is mostly for the grandparents' benefit.

2009-06-08T15:34:00.000-04:00

Welcome, Self - to the 21st century.

You should know that this blog will be mostly devoted to cutesy stories about my boys: Doodle Bug, Honey Monkey and Little Bunny.

There will most likely not be any philosophizing, reccommendations or commentary of any nature other than parenting.

Undoubtedbly most of the anecdotes will sound vaguely familiar as if you saw them on an episode of "Leave it to Beaver" or in a cartoon once.

I don't pretend we are a prefectly original family - however, I do tend to think my children are all stand-up comedy-circuit-ready and thrilling geniuses.

If you had us over, you'd think it was feeding time at the zoo~when you have three boys and are gloriously as outnubered as I am, I welcome your observations and suggestions.

We both want our boys to be

strong...

full of discernment...

aware of convictions...

but sensitive to teaching...

kind...

faithful...

pure...

loving...

brilliant...

courageous...

we want them to come find us still on this Mountain in 35 years.

Still happy, still in love, still probrably in this house because it is full of quirks that only we love and we would never be able to sell it I'm fully convinced, and still growing ourselves.

Forgive this blog and this Writer if I am terribly self-indulgant at times.

Forgive rambling, improper use of punctuation, misspellings, occasional rants, run-on sentances, comma misusage, lengthy absences and ridiculous exaggeration.

And know this: I am here to relay what life in a house full of tiny men, their learning mother and their devoted dad looks like.

Everything I am, Everything I have, Everything I know, Everything I love: it's Him; it's Jesus.

olivemyboysandme

That's Where You'll Find Me

"It's how God loves to work - surprisingly and better than your dreams." - Dec.23,2010

Best of 2010...before I close out...I mean it this time

Thank You and Goodnight!

Christmas 2010

Letter to my Daughters - my Red Thread

More Tennessee

Holiday Tour by the Numbers

Buckle Up

Thankfulness

Here's why it makes sense

It's where all the cool kids go

The Ghosts of Halloweens Past

Birthdays, Brothers, Batman and Baseball Players

When It's All About Him

Life in Little Boyland

Coming into Focus (or: Becoming FEARLESS)

Normalcy

Autumn? Autumn Who?

Waiting to Wait

Bring. It. ON.

Only 10 more? That can't be right.

The Lightning

THE MOVE by the Numbers

Coffee Lovers, Unite!

What April Looks Like

March Makes Moving Much More iMminent

Career Plans

Letter to my Sons

February by the Numbers

Bring it ON, Bad Guys. We Have Couch Cushions to Protect us!

Best Friends for Life

Nana's Wedding to Papa Ted - 1/2/2010

What Cool Boys Wear to a Wedding

It's that Weird Week Between Christmas and New Year's

"Macaroni Grill" Wait Staff: Eat Your Hearts Out

Little Bunny's Bed

December Delights

Lessons

Autumn's Arrival

Future Occupation Plans

Halloween Birthdays

~~~~Hawaii~~~~

Loverboy Luke

This Week in Numbers

Hey Lady, just leave the money.

Equally Adorable and Mischevious

He Pee'd in the Potty

It's not "Having Company" When it's Family

Doodle's 1st Day of 1st Grade

Our Nina

Sayonara Summer or It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Today's Rain Solution= Apple Green PlayDoh

Dance Partying SuperHeroes

Weekends are the Best

Happy 4th of July and other Summery Things

Summertime Means Vacation

Baseball Season and the Mini-Him

This is mostly for the grandparents' benefit.

Hawaii